This is not an exact science
As day one of postgraduate laboratory orientation/ training starts, you walk in bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. This should be a breeze right? You have aced so many experiments and the laboratory feels like home. You step into the laboratory and it looks like no other you have been in. The panic creeps up your spine, you try to beat it down with deep breaths and it finally succumbs convincing you that you have it beat. You listen to all the laboratory rules and they all sound the same until… Until you are expected to run a gel electrophoresis. How does one do those again? I had all the steps memorised, but nothing looks like what the books showed me or what my recap last night told me. Your vision blurs and you start to get warm under the laboratory coat. They are going to see right through you, you are clearly in over your head. There is not a sea of faces to blend into, your laboratory partner is not standing next to you to ask questions and your trusted laboratory book is empty. Do you quickly google it? Ask for help? Dash off to the bathroom and hope that everything is done when you return, if you return? Oh goodness, what does one do in this situation?
If this sounds remotely familiar, you are not alone. The jump from the undergraduate laboratory to the postgraduate laboratory is intimidating, overwhelming and downright terrifying. I remember my orientation going somewhat as described above. After the gel was run and my day was over, I was ready to throw in the towel. I felt defeated by the questions, questions that I was meant to know the answers to. Every laboratory horror story lecturers told during classes took root in my brain as I was trying to rack my brain for these answers. I convinced myself that I had somehow managed to swap the polls thus, my gel is going to run in the wrong direction. The day went pear-shaped; they know I am not as smart as I seem on paper thus they know I am an impostor. I phone a friend to unburden myself only to be met by a similar story; she had a tough day too. We cry, laugh and discuss lunch plans for tomorrow. I wake up the next morning feeling ready to take on the world because maybe yesterday was a bad day.
How does one recover from these types of situations? I got organised. Bought two laboratory books, one that can be handed over in case of emergency and another that is a glorified sketchpad. In the latter, I wrote all my questions, any thoughts and changes to be made to the laboratory protocol. Furthermore, in both books, I wrote down the steps for all various laboratory procedures that I performed daily. These were just a crutch for the times my brain does not remember or when it would not give up the information I know it should have. The availability of these aids made my life so much easier. I used the books to note down all my reaction information and so much more. I had so much information recorded that when asked questions about my work, I had the answers ready at my fingertips. I thought for a long time that I was the only one feeling out of my league, and then I received an article from my supervisor which told of the woes of many academics and various scientists (article can be found at https://www.chronicle.com/article/How-to-Overcome-Impostor/244700?fbclid=IwAR0OT-ljon0Wo9KDdFjjO3s9ljTwAIX-mdMrVht7xLg-h2nwVOgINZXycxU). This article coupled with a few coffee breaks with my fellow postgraduate students taught and reminded me that no one expects you to be perfect. You are expected to learn, be creative and ask questions. Therefore, as Babe Ruth once said: “Do not let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game”.
As daunting as this might seem, push through it. Every time you feel like it is not working re-evaluate and re-attempt. Remember that you have to find enjoyment in your research. Remember to have a balanced academic career and enjoy the sillier moments. You will remember the silly moments shared in jest with friends as much as you will remember the work. I found that being organised helped me keep my insecurities and fears around being the laboratory at bay. This coupled with occasional laughs with friends, meetings with supervisors and crying to the family has made my postgraduate journey, thus far, one worth having.
