How to Survive a Friendship Breakup
Friendship is one of those things that affects our day-to-day lives and how we feel about ourselves, others and the world. They shape our perspectives, our world views and can even teach us a thing about our own moral values.
It is for this reason that we should all be very particular in who we give that level of power to because someone with that type of power over you, whether it be conscious or subconscious, can destroy you.
Sometimes, friendships go awry and words get said back and forth when both people disagree. Friendships have split over matters like cheating in relationships involving a friend, a friend disagreeing with his/her other friend’s decisions or lifestyle choices, different clique affiliations, moving away from one another, unhealthy control issues and/or jealousy in friendships, and sometimes can even lead to fights or in some serious cases – murder.
The problem with unhealthy friendships is that sometimes, we can see a “red flag” and try to look the other way or play Batman, and try to “save them” from their own demise, or even, from our own. It never works out in most cases.
Sometimes, you have to know when to cut the cord.
Now, is a friendship breakup painful? Yes. Will it heal? Also, yes, but it takes time, patience, and a lot of self-forgiveness because we tend to find blame in ourselves even if it wasn’t our fault. If it was, that should lead to some serious self reflection and re-evaluation of the situation so that we do not repeat those mistakes.
That being said, I want to share with you some of the ways in which I was able to survive a friendship breakup. I want to share these tips with you so that if and when you find yourself in a position like this, you remember that you are not alone and that everything will, in fact, turn out okay.
So without further ado, here is a list of things you can do to survive a friendship breakup:
- Remind yourself that if the friendship must end, it is only for the best. This will eventually make both you and the other person wiser and hopefully, enhance both of your moral compasses.
- Get some ice cream, the most absolutely delicious flavor you can find (my favorite is Haagen Dasz’ Dulce de Leche) and whenever you feel like you want to cry, sit with that sadness for a bit, and simultaneously, eat some ice cream. Not too much to give you a stomach ache, but just enough to remind you that sweet things exist in this life and that you deserve them too.
- Go outside and spend time outdoors in a place with a lot of trees and grass, like a park or the local botanical gardens near you. Not only will the sunlight from being outdoors activate your Vitamin D (nourishing 22 organs in your body!), but you will also have an opportunity to reset and ground yourself. A grounding meditation can be found here.
- Sit down and do some journaling for a bit. Write down what is happening at the moment in your life, how it makes you feel, and write 3 ways you can find the light out of this seemingly dark experience. See a journaling video here.
- Work on some therapeutic art exercises. You can color on an app (my favorite app: Lake coloring app) or actually get the tools at your local dollar or supply store and get creative. Draw, sketch, or paint what you view yourself to feel like inside a year from now once you heal from this experience. Use any coloring tools and added materials you like to reflect this message onto your canvas.
- Put some relaxing music on to get you out of a survival or fight mode. Some toxic “friends” can put you in that place sometimes, and it makes you doubt yourself, or feel you have to be on the lookout for danger. Re-train your mind and your body that you are safe and that you are surrounded by peace.
- Aromatherapy is amazing for calming the nervous system. I highly suggest getting some lemongrass, grapefruit and lavender oils for your oil burner and it can make the house smell like a spa and relax your mind at the same time.
- Take yourself out to places you that make you happy and feel alive. Just because that person is no longer in your life, it doesn’t mean the Earth stops moving. Choose to keep moving forward.
These are all of the tips that I have for today. I hope they can help someone out there who finds themselves in this position. It doesn’t get better in one day but it will get better slowly, and that is totally okay. Be kind to your mind and your body as you process this time.
Signing off with warm sunshine love,
Laura Wendy Maxwell
