Where Is Your BS Meter?
Distinguishing Your Truth
What part of yourself gets to decide what is real? Your authority on what is authentic exists; you use it all the time. It is what knows that someone else’s truth is not your own.
So where is that part of me, whose experience of the truth is what I rely on? How can I intentionally connect to that “I” that I really am?
“We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.”
― May Sarton
Preaching vs Teaching
I recognize it when I hear others preach to me. I begin sensing a hostile take-over and move away.
Your savior is important to you. I can understand that. But your savior is not my savior, especially as you insist that it must be because it is the one and only answer to all questions. That may be true for you.
But when you preach, I have a sneaking suspicion that the person you are trying to convince is yourself.
I’d rather listen to teachings. When others teach, I feel like I get more of a choice. I can decide what feels helpful to me in my circumstances.
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”
― Carl Gustav Jung
Outdoor Art Fair
It is like being at an outdoor art fair where vendors are lined up with their own booth of creations: paintings, ceramics, carvings, textiles.
I pass by their wares on display and wait to see what attracts me. That part of me that is attracted, that might be my authority on what is beautiful and interesting to me. What of me is it mirroring? Perhaps I pick up the art piece or get really close to see the details. I might read about the artist, perhaps striking up a conversation and ask questions.
Will I buy it? Take it home and put it on display? Will it inform me as to some aspect of truth, like beauty or philosophy? I imagine myself interacting with it, showing it to friends and explaining its meaning. Will I continue to appreciate it, connecting to its attractiveness. Maybe someday, I will decide that it no longer speaks to me and give it away. I will no longer be wearing a certain identity and this piece no longer fits.
True authority is that self which is itself authority and does not rely on anything; where there is no distinction between that which relies and that which is relied upon.
—Shin’ichi Hisamatsu
Self Reliance is Tricky When Self Has Suffered Trauma
The inner voice can sometimes trick us when it is being motivated by fear. It whispers threats if we do not believe or behave in a manner that we know to be wrong. The BS meter is drowned out by images of self-destruction.
We are lucky if we become aware that it is a dialogue. We are in trouble when we listen to the fears. In Alcoholics Anonymous, the person seeking a way out of addiction is encouraged to hand their life over to a higher power. I think this speaks to how to make a decision when fear, trauma, past pain, self-criticism, shame and self-hatred are talking real loud.
I submit to authority’s voice when it has power over me. When the authority can hurt, imprison or impoverish me. When survival is the basic need, I show humility in exchange for whatever the authority can give me. I barter my authenticity when it looks like I can buy some needed freedom, well-being, protection, or belonging. We all do this to participate in society; the danger is when our inner truth gets silenced and we lose our connection to our BS meter.
Too many prefer gentle lies to hard truths.
— Shane Parrish
Follow Your Bliss
You mean, if I can find it!?
For example, when I start to allow the little voice to say, “Maybe you should get a divorce.”
That little thought is explosive; it blows away my image of a certain beautiful future, steps on a delicate hope of continuing love, smashes my stability and security, and generally increases my fear. What would it mean to follow my bliss in this situation? Try to save the marriage: therapy, sincere discussions, attempts to find happy times together, think about the damage I would do to the children. Yes, but then what? The inner voice that wants freedom — is she the right one? The one who is saying that being mistreated is not love? What are the children learning from me? How can I tell if I am tricking myself? When is the inner voice rightly warning me of danger?
Which way is my bliss?
Helpful tips:
Find any healing you can do to overcome past trauma.
Indulge in any activity that increases your health.
Spend time in contemplation, meditation, or at least taking moments of silence from mass media.
Try activities that allow you time with your creativity.
Journal about (or with) your authentic self.
Notice when you are “in the zone” and time flies by.
Find which environment brings you joy or peace: being outside in nature is a good one.
Consider that you are on a growth journey that will increase your attention to what is true.
Contemplate death, your own or others, and discover what you believe to be true about death.
May your BS meter get stronger and more precise!
Discovering the truth about ourselves is a lifetime’s work, but it’s worth the effort.
— Fred Rogers
