Why forgiveness benefits the forgiver more than the person forgiven

Vinia Majaba
Gain Inspiration
Published in
2 min readNov 2, 2022


Photo by Deborah L Carlson on Unsplash

We all do it. We say to the other person. “I forgive you”. But deep inside, we don’t. It is still at the back of our minds. Or, sometimes, the incident creeps up long after we have said the three words. Sounds familiar?

We have two choices here: we can continue to let the unpleasant event, whatever that might be, affect us. Hurt us emotionally. It’s like trying to open a wound that has already healed. In the end, we remain the victim. Why? Because we don’t let go. We keep going back and remembering the pain. That’s self-torture. Don’t you think?

As an alternative, we can move on entirely without looking back when we say we forgive. And we do that not for the other person but for our peace of mind. We have also learned a lesson not to let the other person offend us again. We look them in the eye, say our rights, and stand firm.

Life is short. Why continue carrying that heavy burden on our backs? We want to be at peace, and it starts from within. To give the other person another chance. A fresh start to a better and hopefully more meaningful and lasting relationship.

The greatness of forgiveness is that it improves our emotional well-being, and our hearts thank us when we forgive.