Wishful thinking vs Positive thinking
Ever wondered how your state of mind influences your actions? A lot of books talk about the ‘law of attraction’ and the indefatigable power it possesses to attract anything to you. But, does everyone get what they really wish for? If everyone is given the same task in the world, do you think everyone will be successful? No? Why not?
Let’s try to see this in detail.
They say that your thinking is influenced by your state of mind. Your thinking then governs your actions. And finally, your actions will govern the final result. Seems logical.
One may say that the state of mind can be either positive or negative or maybe grey, which then gives birth to a train of thoughts in that direction. But let’s look at two situations where having a similar frame of mind can influence an entirely different thinking pattern.
Imagine, there is a company that is holding on-site interviews for an entry-level role. Many people are sitting outside the interview room, waiting for their chance to come. Among these people, there are these two young ladies. Both look confident, calm and are patiently waiting for their chance to come. But, what goes inside their mind is completely different.
The first girl is thinking “ I WILL get this. I am better than all the other candidates. They are going to like me. They will be impressed by my way of speaking. I will get this job.”
On the other hand, the second girl is thinking “Since I have done as much research as I could about this company, I will try to give my best in this interview. I will try to speak as clearly as possible and think intelligently while talking to them.”
If you observe carefully, both the girls have a positive frame of mind. In the case of the first girl, words like “I will”, “going to like me”, “impressed by me” are all positive phrases. In the case of the second girl, words like “I will try”, “give my best” “speak clearly”, “think intelligently” are also positive phases. Yet, their thinking is totally different.
If you give it a closer look, what is the first girl doing when she says ‘ I WILL get it. I WILL get it’ to herself? She is actually building up a fear of NOT getting it. She is focusing on the end result and not on the process required to achieve that result. Whereas, the second girl is more process oriented. Not, thinking about the end result while focusing on giving her best in this situation. She is trying to put her best foot forward by researching about the company, learning about the role, and doing her homework well. In other words, she has done her Karma. Now the result is not in her hand. She can only give her best in this situation and hope for the best.
The first one is envisioning a beautiful grown plant, blooming with flowers in front of her, but she wishes that the plant sows its own seeds and takes care of itself. Whereas, the second one tills the soil, carefully nurtures the seed, waters it and then hopes that the plant would grow one day.
The thinking of the first girl is ‘Wishful Thinking’, while the second one is ‘Positive thinking’. This subtle difference between the two is important to understand if you want to achieve your goals.
Think about it this way:
If you have set a goal for yourself, visualize all the steps that you would need to achieve that goal. Write it down, step by step. Focus on one step at a time,
until you reach the final destination.
For example, if you want to rise in your career as a Designer, think of an achievable target for yourself, and then write down all the skills you would need to build to reach that level. Then work on each skill at a time, focusing on the process of learning and building your skill set. Think of things that are holding you back and try to overcome them. Try to learn from each experience, and work on your shortcomings. THIS is ‘positive thinking’ with a positive frame of mind.
Focusing on the process and not on the result has always worked for me. That way i’m always moving in the right direction; closer to my goals.
There might be cases where you might end up not achieving what you set out to, inspire of being process oriented and putting you best efforts. But, in my opinion that is also a great achievement because you just invested your time in the future. By the end of it, you would have learnt a lot, and all this learning WILL come back to you. You might not be able to see it now, but it will. When you look back in time, you’ll be able to see how all the dots connect to each other.
