a breed of human (a poem)
mutt
noun
a dog of no definable type or breed
(derogatory connotation)
***
i hold up my hand in the mirror
the bathroom light flickers yellow
my skin is yellow like beaten lemon rinds and
the skin of bright songpyeon cakes and
sliced egg crepe layered over a bowl
of rice cake soup on New Year’s Day.
***
i use my hand to grab my sister
by the elbow when an unhoused man
spits as we hurry past
what,
Chinese people got no change?
followed by a string of incoherent sounds
something like
ching-
tong-
ling-
dong-
and on
and on
and on
***
at summer camp, the other kids
ask me what i am, asian or white?
am i one of those mixed kids?
i’m korean. my mom is korean!
after freeze tag, i lie in the grass
and lift my hand to the sunlight,
where my skin glows tan
and blotchy at the same time.
i cover my eyes with it
and pretend i cannot see.
***
i cannot see well
without glasses, i squint
smiling, i squint
reading, i squint
my eyes form perpetual crescents.
my pseudo-friend from high school once
called them demon eyes
when not wearing glasses,
i pretend i cannot see. i touch
my own lips, my chin, my neck,
my eyes and the bones of my cheeks
i am surprised to feel under my fingers
the face of a human.
