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Brutal Dating Truth That ALWAYS Saves Time and Pain

My #1 lesson from coaching 500+ clients

Manj Bahra
Published in
3 min readJan 22, 2025

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Today, I talked to a client who feels deeply frustrated with her dating life.

This woman is highly successful in her career but recently decided it’s time to find a life partner (after a decade focused on work).

The challenge?

The men she attracts seem to string her along — little effort, circular conversations, and no real progress.

Despite this, she has continually made excuses for them:

“Maybe they just need more time.”

“I don’t want to issue an ultimatum.”

“What if it’s me?”

Sound familiar?

Here’s the thing: When you’re empathetic and high-integrity like this client, seeing the best in others is natural.

You can give chances because you assume people are like you.

But not everyone is like you.

And unfortunately, this can lead to a toxic cycle — wasting months obsessing over mixed signals and people who won’t commit.

That’s why I reminded my client of something something every dater needs to hear:

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Modern Love
Modern Love

Published in Modern Love

Sharing the best in the science and psychology of 21st-century dating

Manj Bahra
Manj Bahra

Written by Manj Bahra

Helping you break the cycle and find love. Neuroscience & psychology-based advice. 3 million reads and counting!

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