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My Secret Method for Destroying Overthinking

3 steps to break free from the confusion

Manj Bahra
Published in
3 min readJan 20, 2025

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If you struggle with overthinking, this is for you.

People are more confused than ever — especially regarding dating.

And it’s hardly a surprise, given the contradictory advice out there:

  • Some people say to define your non-negotiables. Others say to be open-minded.
  • The dating coach says don’t settle, while your friends suggest you’re being too picky.
  • Your therapist says it’s your attachment style, while your family says to be realistic.

The problem is that many things can be true.

Context matters — your life is unique, not a cookie-cutter.

And so all we really need to do is find out what works for us through taking action.

Thinking through it will never give you genuine insights.

Unfortunately, your brain doesn’t care. Its job is to protect you from uncertainty and risk, so it pulls you into overthinking — keeping you stuck in the same predictable but disappointing situations.

So, how do you break free?

Yesterday, I spoke about the value of following fewer accounts — ones you trust.

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Modern Love
Modern Love

Published in Modern Love

Sharing the best in the science and psychology of 21st-century dating

Manj Bahra
Manj Bahra

Written by Manj Bahra

Helping you break the cycle and find love. Neuroscience & psychology-based advice. 3 million reads and counting!

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