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The Brutal Truth About People Pleasing

The elephant you can’t afford to ignore

Manj Bahra
3 min readMay 31, 2024

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Just this weekend, I was talking to a client who wanted to break a pattern of people-pleasing.

Can you relate? (I know I can!)

As far back as she could remember, she had always put others first.

It was second nature not to speak up, avoid making too much fuss, and go above and beyond — especially in her community (South-Asian).

Now she’s older and more aware. Not only that, but the pattern has seeped into many areas of her life:

  • At work with co-workers, other teams, her bosses (taking on extra work, saving the day)
  • With friends (not wanting to say no or let them down)
  • With her family (worrying about what her parents think and trying to keep them happy)
  • When shopping (feeling bad about not purchasing from a small business or ending services)
  • In dating (being extremely accommodating, dating everyone, not knowing how to say not interested)

It’s so exhausting that she has no energy.

But more importantly, she’s not getting what she wants.

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Manj Bahra
Modern Dating Wisdom

Dating Coach | Helping women understand men and find their life partner | Join my FREE community for more: www.skool.com/modern-dating-wisdom-7204