Photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash

The I Love You Test

A 30-second exercise that changed my life

I’ve always hated cliché self-help.

And there’s nothing more cliché than the idea of self-love.

But a few years ago, something happened that completely changed my mind — and it might just do the same for you.

Shortly after starting work with my long-time coach, I was struggling with parts of my childhood and my relationship with my dad.

I also felt this immense pressure to achieve more because, deep down, I didn’t feel like I’d done enough.

My coach asked me if I’d tried the “I love you” test.

I hadn’t. Curious, I assumed it would involve saying something meaningful to my wife.

But then he said something that made me cringe.

“Stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eye, and say these three things:

I’m proud of you.

I believe in you.

I love you.

And just… see what happens.”

I wanted to laugh — it sounded ridiculous. But I trusted my coach because he was practical and results-driven.

So, that day, I gave it a shot.