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The Mental Model That Changed My Life

Feel like nothing’s working? This is for you.

Manj Bahra
Published in
3 min readJan 23, 2025

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Have you ever felt that nothing seems to work no matter what you do?

While other areas of your life are ticking along, the ONE you care about the most stays stagnant.

And then you watch, frustrated, as others around you seem to get what they want with minimal effort.

If you’ve been there, let me take you back to one of the lowest points in my life — 2018.

Looking back, it’s strange to call it a low point. I had a high-paying job at JP Morgan, a long-term girlfriend, great friends, and good health.

But nothing seemed to play out how I wanted:

  • I failed at becoming a trader — six final-round interviews and six rejections.
  • I lost £50,000 on my first attempt at starting a business.|
  • I went to the gym five times a week, yet colleagues joked I looked like I’d never been.

To escape, I drank daily, ate takeouts, and relied on energy drinks just to recover.

On the surface, everything seemed fine. Inside, I felt stuck.

Fast forward to today:

  • I left the 9 to 5 and run a successful coaching business.

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Modern Love
Modern Love

Published in Modern Love

Sharing the best in the science and psychology of 21st-century dating

Manj Bahra
Manj Bahra

Written by Manj Bahra

Helping you break the cycle and find love. Neuroscience & psychology-based advice. 3 million reads and counting!

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