Why We Chase People Who Don’t Want Us — The Psychology Of Romantic Obsession
We’ve all seen a person become enamoured or even obsessed with someone despite not being close to a romantic relationship with them. While everyone else knows the feeling is not mutual, they remain engrossed in a fairy-tale, often compulsively analysing apparent signs to convince themselves there is hope. In most cases, they don’t dare to admit their feelings for fear of rejection, leaving a void of agonising uncertainty.
What if that person is you? What if, despite a reputation for level-headedness, your mind has been consumed by irrationality. Days, weeks, and months can fly by as you remain blinded by your fantasy, unwilling to accept the truth — they don’t feel the same way. Your inability to admit facts only encourages you to waste time overthinking and mentally masturbating.
The purpose of this post isn’t to give you a magic bullet solution but rather to understand why you struggle in these situations by exploring three psychological concepts. Not only will understanding these concepts help provide closure to our nonsensical behaviour, but they also offer a rare opportunity to delve into our insecurities and heal them. We have the chance to display courage in admitting weakness and commit to building strength. More importantly, it encourages us to forgive ourselves for being human and…
