Kellyanne Conway Is Just Fucking With Us Now
She has become so practiced and so expert at her task that she is playing little games to keep it interesting.
Many, many years ago, I was a bill collector. Yeah, I know, bill collector, but I had three kids and no degree and all those mouths weren’t going to feed themselves.
I spent eight hours a day calling people and convincing them to send me money. Do it long enough and it becomes routine; you’ve heard all the excuses, you know all the responses, ho hum, only 150 more calls to make today, all essentially the same as that first one.
-Yawn-
So we’d make up little games to entertain ourselves. “Hey, look”, someone would say, “I’m getting this guy to send money to me even though I have my feet on my desk”. “That’s nothing, this guy is sending money to someone with a bag over his head”. “Hey, I’m getting someone to send me money using a bad British accent”.
Stupid little games, but we were so practiced at what we did that we had reached the “fucking with you” zone. We didn’t need focus. We were just that good.
I think Kellyanne Conway just showed us that she has reached the “fucking with us” zone. Sunday morning, on Meet the Press, this happened.
Some of that goes by so fast, and is so incredible, that it is easy to miss. So I made a transcript of the key part:
Chuck Todd … you did not answer the question
Kellyanne Conway I did answer your question
CT No you did not …
KC Yes I did
CT … you did not answer the question of why the President asked the White House Press Secretary to come out in front of the podium, for the first time, and utter a falsehood. Why did he do that? It undermines the credibility of the entire White House press office …
KC No it doesn’t
CT … on Day One?
KC Don’t be so … don’t be so overly dramatic about it Chuck. Your saying it’s a falsehood and their giving Sean Spicer our Press Secretary … gave … alternative facts to that. But the point remains …
CT Wait a minute, alternative facts? Four of the facts …
KC … that there is … (trails off)
CT Four of the five facts he uttered …
KC Hey Chuck
CT … Four of the five facts he uttered were just not true
KC Hey Chuck
CT Look, alternative facts are not facts. They’re falsehoods.
Alternative facts. Huh. The press is all over this one, I’m sure you heard about it before reading this, and rightly so. Our White House Press Secretary should not be lying, and our Senior Advisor to the President should not be trying to make it seem okay that he did.
But that is not the best part. Watch Conway as she dips and swerves into the “alternative facts” statement. Here, I’ll help:
See the dip? Famously unflappable, yet even she needed to reach to come up with “alternative facts”.
See the smile immediately after? That is the pleased face of one who has just done something that is internally very funny even if she will never allow herself to explain why it is funny.
Kellyanne Conway just did the Senior-Counselor-to-the-President equivalent of getting someone to send money while wearing a bag over their head. She has become so practiced and so expert at her task that she is playing little games to keep it interesting.
She is fucking with us. Because she can.
Alternative facts. Yeah right.
I wonder if next week she’ll make the Sunday news show rounds using a bad British accent?
:) :D :)
