The Joy of Becoming a Regular

Michael Anderson
GameWisp’s Game Whispers
3 min readAug 2, 2016
’Cause makin’ your way in the world today takes everything you got…

Over the past few years, I’ve realized something about myself: It’s important to me to be a regular somewhere.

Ever since I was in college, I have loved finding and frequenting particular places. From coffee shops, to specific floors in the library, to local pubs; I always end up whittling down my haunts to a few favorites, and then go back, over and over again.

It’s nothing unique to have a favorite coffee shop. It is, however, a rare and different thing entirely to be a regular.

Being a regular, at its core, is about going beyond the consumable products on offer, and engaging deeply with the community around you. The joy from a communal place, like a coffee shop, can extend past the caffeine and food, into the lives of the other customers, the staff, and the owners. In fact, a special type of connection is available, provided you are willing to spend some resources to get it. Traditional resources, like money to buy a pint or a cup of coffee (and to tip!), and more precious resources, like your time, and courage to say ‘hi.’

Most mornings, I get up early and make my way to a local coffee shop near my home. I like to be there when it opens at 7am. I’ve been going there ever since I moved to town almost five years ago.

I moved alone, to a new town, and knew practically zero people. Soon after I got settled, I found this coffee shop, and I started going often. Over time, I put myself out there and introduced myself to the staff and the people who I regularly saw. Those initial connections evolved, over time, into genuine friendships outside of the four walls of the coffee shop, leading to hiking trips, concerts, business opportunities, and more. It has truly been one of the great joys of my life over the past 5 years. The comfort of going to a place where people know your name, and are happy to see you, has helped me get through some very difficult times.

I’m sure you won’t be surprised to hear me tell you this applies in the digital world, just as it applies in the physical. We are all part of digital communities: places where we value being known and are valued as a core community member. Long before I frequented my favorite coffee shop, I frequented my favorite online community… the United Pilots Alliance (UPA)… an incredible group devoted to playing Star Wars flight sim games (like X-Wing vs. TIE Fighter) in the mid 2000’s. I cannot begin to count the untold hours I spent with my friends behind the stick of a TIE Fighter on the MSN Gaming Zone. I look back on those times with incredible nostalgia for that community.

Hey, we even got an Abbreviations.com image!

These days, I love spending time in some of my favorite streamers’ communities, watching Overwatch, and then meeting my raid buddies in the evening for some late night Destiny. Our digital communities keep us connected and thriving.

You may have a favorite community online, just like you might have a favorite coffee shop. My challenge to you is to dig deeper into that online community.

Invest the time, resources, and effort to make that community great. You don’t have to own or lead the community to make a tremendous impact on the other people in that community. You don’t have to be in charge to get incredibly transformational value from becoming a regular. You just have to engage, introduce yourself, and be around. I guarantee good things will follow.

You’ll meet incredibly interesting people, have new and unexpected experiences, and this community will be a constant in your life that can give you stability you need through difficult times.

Find a community and become a regular. It will change your life.

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