“No Look Pass” Is A Hardcore Fast-Twitch Mobile Game That Will Teach You About Political Futility
Awesome graphics + fast twitch gameplay + political commentary!
To fully understand the greatness that is No Look Pass (Google Play), you must first be aware of what occurred in the Korean political sphere on May 25th. On that fateful day, a 65 year old politician by the name of Kim M0o-sung decided he no longer gave any fucks and would flex his god-given authority by gracefully sliding his brightly colored, puke-hued rolling suitcase to his hired help with nary a glance in the direction of the suitcase’s momentum.
He then proceeded to saunter off and do his business, which we can assume was of a righteous matter suitable to his holy powers.
Unfortunately, the common pleb was not able to fathom the compassionate elegance of Mr. Kim and decided that they would rage about it instead. Some wrote angry blog posts, others attacked via social media, and still others, such as the developer of No Look Pass, decided to use their talents to create mobile games about the situation. As such, there are currently several of these games out on Google Play, and they are light, casual fun. This game however, is not those games. This game is fucking hardcore.
The game starts innocuously enough. You are presented with the familiar scene of Mr. Kim walking through the airport arrivals gate. You are the hired help: Mr. Kim will no-look-pass his suitcase to you, and it’s your job to catch it. Easy enough, right? And so you wait with bated breath to see to which of the four locations Mr. Kim will send his luggage to you. The excitement is physically palpable.
Mr. Kim appears. He releases the suitcase; as it rolls slowly towards your anticipatory thumbs, you find yourself instinctively hunch over into a humble bowing position in an expression of your not-worthiness. You are ready to catch the suitcase and fulfill your duty. And then! Suddenly a Mr. Kim clone appears, suitcase in hand, ready to send you scrambling to catch another suitcase in hurried modesty. Another clone appears, and yet another. It’s an army of Mr. Kims with a multitude of suitcases flying in unpredictable speeds and directions. And this is where you realize that nothing in your life could ever prepare you for this awesome battle. That your only hope is to survive for as long as possible, to string up as high of a combo as you possibly can and then brag about it to your acquaintances of nearest proximity so that they, too, can try to play this game and fail. Because all will fail — but you will fail less than they.
Adding to the hardcore-ness of this game is the music. Grungy, manly riffs repeat without variation into eternity, or at least until you die, which does not take very long since, as mentioned previously, this game is hardcore. There are no accompanying instruments because there is no need. The only other sound is the gentle snare-like sound of your taps as you flounder in futility to catch the endless barrage of flying suitcases.
That is the end of this review. We fall down, we lay our crowns at the mighty feet of our lord Kim Moo-sung and the No Look Pass. If you beat my high score please leave a comment.
