Essay
Rejection Hurts
I Rise
Is it not an every day rant of every writer submitting every where and anywhere and then waiting with bated breath to receive a word from the publication? May those words never be, nayyyyyyyyy….we regret…., not for for our publication…. blah blah! And yet, they find their way in the inboxes of those like me. I dread such emails without so much as a substantiation of the rejection.
Writers, like all artists, thrive on patronage and appreciation and applause. It can be defeating and demoralizing to be rejected. The imposter syndrome is a serious malady that affects most of us. The symptoms flare when the submissions we make do not make it. But, as all my well meaning, non-writing friends wonder why (I wonder secretly too!) do we need so much validation? Why should every morning bird be telling us that we are not pseudos or some self-proclaimed poets or writers without an ounce of talent? Why can’t I write for the happiness of it and just feel great about it without wanting to be accepted by all and sundry?
The answer is one we all know but it is a flimsy one to hold on to. Most of us do not write professionally and rarely have formal validation or degrees to back up whatever talent we may possess. The sheer fact of being published or accepted makes us feel like those that do have experience, education and recognition in the art of writing deem us worthy enough to be accepted, printed and published. Thus, we are not quite the frauds we doubt ourselves to be.
Is the imposter syndrome the only one to blame? No, I don’t think so. I think the human classist, elitist behavior comes into play many a times. Some talents are not worthy of consideration and some are. Who are the faceless somebody’s deciding our fate as writers? What hurts mostly is the way these rejection replies are worded (or not). Most of the times, the writers feel excluded, those like me. There is a strange science that goes on inside the publication and once we are tested and calibrated we are told that we are square pegs in a round hole or round pegs in square holes. And that’s all!
There is no more said or conveyed and the writer feels inadequate despite how well he/she may have tried to study to journal to fit in better. Why do they say, “Your writing does not quite fit in our journal…”? Now, writers have to fit in too? And, all along I thought those that write or compose or create are revolutionaries, non-conformist individuals who do what they do because they answer a higher intellectual calling despite whatever other races they need to run in life.
Rejection hurts simply because despite the words and the art being tattooed on our souls, we are outcasts till someone lifts the fence and lets us in. It feels like a life long examination; we have to pass every level and appear again and again to be tested and certified. It is tiring and exasperating.
For many like me, it may also poison all manners of free creativity and induce unnecessary competitiveness with the writers I am friends with. I am still friends with these awe-inspiring poets and writers and far be it from me to ever run that race with them. I am not gunning to be the top poet.
And, hopefully one day I can rise above rejection and it does not hurt any more.
