Root Rot

Over the past few days, I’ve lost a sunflower and had a tomato plant start to wilt. I think it might be some sort of fungus with those two because they were both right next to each other and my other plants are doing just fine. I also don’t really know what I’m talking about.

I’m a novice when it comes to ALL plants. I find growing tips online here and there, and I’ve had a few friends with gardens of their own help and offer advice, but mostly I’m learning through trial and error.

I only started gardening back in March of this year, so I haven’t even experienced a year’s worth of a growing cycle yet. And like I mentioned in my first post, I’m just not great with plants. At least I wasn’t before, so this whole business of growing a garden from scratch is brand new.

But things are different with this garden. I think the reason I’ve managed to keep a good portion of it alive is that I kinda give a shit now about things like gardening. I’ve always been good (or at least better) at things I gave a shit about, and my values have shifted over the years. I’m also ten years clean and sober which surprisingly makes a big difference.

I used to be good at things like rolling joints, taking naps, having sex, late-night taco runs, selling drugs, getting drunk, and buying cars. The car obsession is such a guy thing but I did like nice cars and I was good at figuring out how to finance them even though I had shitty credit. Honestly, I think I was a shitty drug dealer, too (addicts are crap dealers), so this list in its entirety is debatable.

This blog kind of isn’t really about plants. No shit, right? It sort of is, but the gardening thing is more of a metaphor. The cool part is that I happen to be genuinely into gardening now which is weird if you’ve known me for a while.

I also think it’s super cliché from a writer’s perspective to write metaphorically about life and gardening. It’s been done so many times. But comparing the growth of organic matter to various aspects of life and the human condition is so apropos, isn’t it?

These days, I feel guilty if I manage to kill any of my plants by being a neglectful plant mom. But I never used to give a crap when they’d die before. I only cared because my apartments didn’t look as good with dead plants in them, but I’d just replace them with new ones until those died. My plants would usually last a month or so, and two months was a pretty good run for me. I’ve bought and killed a lot of plants over the years.

But this garden is different and so am I. And starting from seeds is a different ball game because it brings me much closer to my plants than it would if I’d purchased them already sprouted. I love witnessing a plant come into its own and grow to maturity. It’s even cooler when that plant actually bears stuff I can eat and use to cook meals for my friends with.

I’m not sure why I never looked at a plant as an actual life before. In my little brain, of course, I’ve always known that plants are alive, but I still thought of them as inanimate. But plants consume, they grow, they reproduce, and they die. It’s the cycle of life, plain as day.

If you chuck a metal paperweight onto the ground outside and leave it alone, it’ll stay there and should be pretty okay for a relatively indefinite amount of time. You don’t need to do anything to it. It’s an inanimate object. A plant, on the other hand, is going to need water. It’s going to need sunlight. And as corny as it might sound, it could use some company, too.

I never really believed people when they told me their plants were much happier and healthier when they were talked to and sung to. But I talk and sing to my pants now and I think there’s something to it. They know it. I also pay more attention to how they’re feeling. If a tomato or chili plant looks a bit soggy, then I know I’m probably overwatering it. If it looks dry, I’m probably underwatering it. If the leaves have bite marks then it’s probably time to find a cruelty-free way of keeping the bugs away.

I also like to move my plants around to different parts of the yard where the sun hits them at varied angles. I’ll watch how they do around lots of plants versus few plants. Do they like more shade? Do they like more sun? Do they need deep ground to root down, and does one type of fertilizer work better than another?

I can look up all this stuff online and read about it in gardening books, but I don’t think anything compares to personal experience. It’s like parenting. I don’t have kids so I can’t say I’ve experienced being a mom, but I do remember being a kid. And I know my parents had some parenting books floating around. But I also know that my sister and I were each a handful in our own unique ways and my parents had to adapt accordingly.

Plants are obviously different. They’re not humans and they don’t walk around and do stuff like animals, or swim in the water like fish, or look around with their big eyeballs. They are, however, alive, and like all living things, no two plants are exactly the same. Yeah, they share similar traits and characteristics, and different species will respond best to environments that are optimal for whatever type of plant they are. But that doesn’t mean they’ll all behave in totally predictable ways. This has been my experience at least.

As a recovering drug addict and alcoholic, I tend to talk about my life a lot in pre-recovery and post-recovery terms. It’s easy to do because life is so acutely different now that I’m sober. I actually take care of myself, my things, my relationships, and, these days, my plants. Back in the day, however, my house was messy, my relationships were a disaster, I was a pretty shitty friend, and when it came to my family, I mostly cared about what I could get out of them. I was kind of an awful human.

It feels really good to care about things now. It also feels good to care about people and their feelings. And it feels good to care about plants. When we take care of the people, places, and things that are important to us, they tend to stick around. A nice pair of shoes or a handbag we value will last if we care for it. Friendships will flourish and stand the test of time if we nourish them. And plants will generally continue to grow if we keep them in the right environment and give them some love.

It’s funny, when I got sober, I didn’t think I would change beyond the fact that I just wouldn’t drink or use drugs anymore, but I think I’ve actually become a better person. In fact, I know I have, and that’s pretty cool. I also grew a green thumb, or perhaps that green thumb was there all along and she just needed a little prod. Either way, I know I’m capable of growing my own food now, and that’s super awesome. And I’m not that big of an asshole anymore which is another big bonus.

There’s no moral to this story, and nothing in here is rocket science. But hopefully, it’ll make some people think about how they treat their plants. Or their mom. Or even their favorite pair of shoes.