Doubt

Some thoughts on being an academic

You will have doubt. Unless you are so full of yourself as to believe that you are infallible (and if you are, you aren’t reading this), you will doubt yourself. You will have doubt in your work. You will believe from time to time that it is not good enough, you are not smart enough, you haven’t worked hard enough, or it isn’t interesting or new enough to warrant any attention.

This is normal. Most folks will tell you to ignore that voice or give you some pithy platitude to inspire you.

The truth is, sometimes you should pay attention to your doubt. Just don’t let it stop it.

For some of us, our doubt is reflexive. Maybe we were emotionally abused as kids, and that doubt is no more than a psychological trigger. You can ignore that doubt. He’s an asshole and doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Sometimes, though, the doubt is caused by some unexamined reality. There really are times that you don’t know enough. The good news is, that’s a problem you can fix. There’s a solution that doesn’t involve beating yourself up or listening to your inner, psychologically triggered asshole. The solution is easy: go to the library. Do some more research. Consult your field notes or run some equations or consult with some colleges. Once you’ve done that, congrats. You now have no reason to doubt yourself because you’ve filled in the gaps in your knowledge.

You can’t know everything. No one knows everything. And everyone makes mistakes.

Learn to discern when your doubt is a trigger from your past and when it is a reflection of a fixable problem. Once you know what you know and are honest about what you don’t know, it becomes easier to dismiss the trigger and focus on what you need to do.

A lot of what you need to do is write. Some academic writers are artists. They write beautifully. Most aren’t. Most are generally boring and pedantic. The difference between the two is simple: practice and self-awareness. Writing is a skill, and the more you do it, the easier it becomes. But your writing only get better when you’re honest with yourself, willing to take risks, fail, and learn from your failures. Without honest self-awareness, you could write ten thousands words a day for a decade and sill be boring and pedantic.

So if your doubt is specifically about writing, don’t worry. You’ll become a better a writer. Don’t let doubt stop you. Just put (metaphorical) pen to (metaphorical) paper and go.