April 1st news: Investment in a lucky cat pays off handsomely for Gauss team

Investment cycles are predictable but returns are not: VCs are looking to bolster their returns by crunching numbers, seeking synergies between companies they invest, or soliciting interest from their corporate LPs to utilize the powers of the tech, that, ostensibly explained through science and math (fake news, really, who believes in this these days?), can only be ascribed to true magic.

The world of unicorns, the realm of pixie dust that clears the senses to grasp the levitation power — leaving reason, gravity and common sense to those who need it — venture capitalists aim higher.

To learn from the best, one has to have a joker up their sleeve — or better yet — a cat. A cat, that that accumulates cosmic energy, attracts sure bets and LP money.

Fresh from our first close we did in December, we decided that ploughing a ticket in a lead round in a cat that is tendered for USD several hundred of thousands — giving us a plush board seat, rodent protection — and extra powers of making better investments in the future. For one, what can be better than chair a board meeting with this fella looking down at the team as the board plans to take over the world.

MWAHAHAHA!!

There are indeed a number of ads in the press about people selling dogs, cats and rodents for crazy sums of money, where owners share bold stories about the asset being tendered.

The world of VC is often not about tech in an asset but about soft power of it — and the charisma of those making a pitch, right?