A Grab In The Pussy Is Exactly What America Needs Right Now

There’s been a lot of well-deserved outrage surrounding Donald Trump’s comments about women.

But while I believe that Trump’s comments are indefensible, I also believe that language that makes us uncomfortable can sometimes conceal a much deeper truth. In this case, I believe that Trump’s comments present us with a useful metaphor.

No woman ever deserves to be grabbed by the pussy. But America needs it.

A grab in the pussy, that is, from the future.

Look at our country today. Employment growth is stagnating. Our infrastructure is crumbling. Our public institutions are frozen by ineptitude. Keep in mind that this is the same country—the same government—that once sent a man to the moon.

Meanwhile, companies in Silicon Valley like Facebook and Uber are helping America be grabbed in the pussy by the future all the time, and they are reaping the benefits.

Allowing ourselves to be grabbed in the pussy by the future will not be easy. In fact, I’m not sure I have this metaphor entirely sorted out yet.

People will lose their jobs. Maybe, some social services will be lost. Nuclear war might happen. Companies will start building big, scary resume-sorting algorithms that behave like white males. Governments will collapse.

What we will need to remember is that, while all of this change might make us uncomfortable, it will all ultimately be for the better of humanity.

So join me, won’t you? Let us all come together, and allow ourselves to collectively be grabbed in the pussy by the future.

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The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in Gawken are fictitious.