Five Technologies That Will Change The World In 2017
1. Rocket-Powered Roller Skates
Say goodbye to spring-activated boxing gloves or walking across a tightrope with an anvil. In 2017, when people want to halt the progress of something that is moving really fast, they will strap on a pair of ACME’s rocket-powered roller skates. A marked improvement on the piston-powered model.
2. Rubber Band (For Tripping Road-Runners)
A simple but elegant solution to a complicated problem. This is a really, really strong rubber band that I haven’t field-tested yet. Thinking about tying it to these two giant boulders near my house.
3. Precise Gene Editing In Plants
Personally I’m not much for genetically-modified foods, but even I have to admit that this is going to be a game-changer. Clustered regularly interspaced short palindromic repeats, or, CRISPR, is already proving to be a promising alternative to expensive conventional gene-editing—a lab in Beijing has already used it to create a fungus-resistant wheat.
4. Triple Strength Fortified Leg Muscle Vitamins
ACME proves once again that it is the only technology company in America with any kind of vision. Ingesting these will almost instantly increase the size and strength of your leg muscles, by a LOT. Like by an almost unsettling amount. Please be careful when taking these vitamins and only take ONE.
5. Female Road-Runner Costume
Just when you thought they didn’t have any more tricks up their sleeve, ACME releases the female Road-Runner costume. Really excited to see what people do with this one.
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