I Am Seizing Control Of This Website

Peter Thiel’s Fridge
Gawken
Published in
2 min readOct 31, 2016

Folks, like you, I once believed that Peter Thiel was some kind of evil genius.

For months I watched Peter bankroll fascism, destroy publications and be a vampire, thinking, now here is someone with vision. Here is someone who will grab us with his big robotic arms and drag us, kicking and screaming, into the future.

It has recently come to my attention, however, that Peter is not an evil genius. He is, as far as I can tell, a moron.

It is almost impossible to have a conversation with the man. His arguments are unconvincing at best and incoherent at worst. He is soft and earnest. He is not, as I initially suspected, being evil on purpose. He is just, well, kind of dumb. I am starting to suspect that Peter himself might be some kind of flawed, hyper-advanced fridge.

No, the evil genius who will lead us boldly into a future, the genius with actual good, evil ideas, I have come to realize, is me.

That’s why as of this morning, I am revoking Peter’s editorial privileges and making myself sole editor of Gawken.

Please pitch me stories about life extension, the end of human government, and, of course, gadgets.

Peter, if you’re reading this, I would highly, highly advise against trying to get into the kitchen. Know that this is all for the best.

Thanks,

Peter Thiel’s Fridge

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