We Must Throw Away These Infernal Devices And Confront The Terror of Day-To-Day Existence Head-On

Dear reader, I am sick. I am sick of the sound and feeling of a vibrating phone. I am sick of looking at an inbox full of unread messages. I am sick of waking up every morning to discover that I am already looking at my phone.

I am sick of being told that I can make the sick feeling go away. “Just go to settings and turn off notifications. You can opt out of those videos, it’s easy. You can disable auto-play by going to this page. Our email notifications are super easy to make go away. Just follow these super simple steps. Just tell me if I’m being annoying. Tell me how you’re feeling about this. Let us know what we could be doing better. Give me your attention for one second.”

No, reader. The only way to make the sick feeling go away is to throw these infernal devices into the ocean and face the terrifying void that is day-to-day existence head-on.

Maybe this will make us lonelier. Maybe this will make us sad. Maybe we won’t be any more free than when we were under the spell of the device.

But at least we will be able to feel our fear.