I refused to be misgendered at Pride events and say nothing…

In theory, Pride events are held for the celebration and visibility of the LGBTQ+ community. However, in my experience, the ‘T’ is often silent. In the past couple of weeks I went to four Pride events. One was a low key trans Pride picnic at the St. Louis Transgender Memorial Garden. That was the one I felt the most accepted, visible, and safe. The second one was the Pride event held for St. Charles. The third was a block party-esque one. And the fourth was St. Louis Pridefest. For this post, I am focusing on my experiences at both the St. Louis and St. Charles Pride.

At St. Charles Pride, I wore a shirt that in large letters stated: “World’s Okayest Nonbinary Person.” I wore my gender on a shirt and was referred to as “ma’am” for the entirety of my time there. After I was misgendered once, I decided that I would confront people on gendering strangers-especially at Pride. The first person I confronted was a friendly guy running a booth. Once I explained to him that I wasn’t a lady and the harm of gendering strangers he thought about why he gendered me the way he did. He apologized, telling me he made assumptions based on me being at the event with my girlfriend. My experiences after that were half-hearted apologies, quiet glares, uncomfortable silences, and one person that did not seem to even know what the ‘T’ on their ‘LGBT’ shirt meant.

Annoyingly, my experiences at St. Louis Pridefest were much the same. I corrected every person that misgendered me. Upon doing so, I was met with people mumbling apologies, quiet hostility, and only one positive response. For such a time of celebration, I felt disheartened.

Transgender people have always been at the forefront of the LGBT movement. Yet now, it seems that, the other letters are leaving us in the dust. Same-gender marriage may be legal in the United States, but transgender people are still fighting for the right to exist. In many places, I fear using the restroom or gendered fitting rooms. In a space such as Pride I , should not and will not, be invisible and made to feel uncomfortable.