Being Gay —My Superpower or My Kryptonite?
For a long time I treated my sexuality as a weakness — it’s time to realize it’s my power.
Who doesn’t love the idea of a superhero? I’ve spent my whole life reading about them. People who surpass the limits of physics (and society)…someone whose sole purpose in their world is to do good, unimaginable things when hope is all but lost.
But for me, favorite thing about superheroes isn’t fancy tools or gadgets, nor breathing fire or flying through the sky at light speed. No, what I admire most is the superheroes kryptonite — that hidden weakness which makes them vulnerable. When they overcome it, it makes them inspirational.
Every hero has one. And that’s what makes heroes so relatable. We each have our own kryptonite in life. Something which other people try to exploit or expose us with. Something we must overcome.
For a long time, my sexuality was my kryptonite.
I saw my sexuality as a weakness for far too long
In the past, I treated my sexuality was unequivocally a kryptonite. I think it’s common feeling for many in the LGBTQI community to have poor self-esteem, at least in the beginning. Not because of anything we do or don’t do — but because of societies hidden messages.
Why? Because we still operate within a stiflingly hetero-normative society that anything beyond straight is deemed a weakness, a ‘lifestyle choice’, or less than normal.
Society is slowly realizing that a different shade of humanity, of sexuality, of gender, is something to be celebrated, not chastised. That it is a source of power, not weakness. That our differences unite us, not divide us.
As a child, the boys and girls on the playground knew many years before I did that I was different. And difference back then was scary. For many, it still is.
The term ‘gay’ in school was unequivocally used to describe something, or someone, as less than. So when they called me it, they made it my weakness. And I listened to them. And believed them.
In my career in teaching for example, there was no disguising my sexuality made me vulnerable. As a teacher in Ireland, under Section 37.1 of my employment contract, I could be legally dismissed because I was a gay man. And because the majority of schools were Catholic-ethos, it was an unavoidable threat on my radar.
This had such an affect on me that long after I left teaching. The idea of telling future employers I was gay weighed heavily on my mind. It’s only when I changed into media, did I ever think to confront that archaic idea in the back of my mind — ‘being gay is perfectly fine. It’s my kind of normal’.
Whilst legislation is now in place to protect our rights, the sentiments that being gay is a weakness still lingers on, in too many industries. In many people’s minds. It’s time to challenge that, and turn that kryptonite into something powerful.
Gay is now my superpower
Whether it’s the passing of time, maturity, access to the Internet or society as a whole has changed, more and more LGBTQI people are being accepted for who they are.
LGBTQI people rise to the highest ranks in politics, entertainment, business and technology. Many people now use the word queer as a term of empowerment. We can get married. We can set a path and forge our own destinies.
It’s as if our kryptonite, that thing that for so long, but not long ago, was used to highlight our weaknesses, is now a limitless source of energy and passion.
We create movements. We set mainstream trends. We are a source of culture and progression. It’s as if society is slowly realizing that a different shade of humanity, of sexuality, of gender, is something to be celebrated, not chastised. That it is a source of power, not weakness. That our differences unite us, not divide us.
Superheroes
But like all superhero stories — it’s not that easy to come and realise this. In truth it may take many, many years for a story to come full circle. For you to question why it is you think the way you do, about yourself.
It took that long for me.
And still to this day, whether it’s a politician running on an anti-trans mandate, or some entertainer who uses a gay slur for shock humour — sexuality and gender are actively being used as a kryptonite.
To disarm us. To divide us. To bring us back to those days on the playground, when you were left feeling isolated.
For me, it came down to a choice — do I continue this cycle of self-loathing based off of archaic ideas from people who don’t even know me?
Or do I embrace ‘this weakness’, and turn it into my strength?
I choose the latter. And boy, am I strong.
