Gay Christians vs. Evangelical Warriors
Life lessons of a loving gay Christian
How do you picture Jesus? As someone who turns the other cheek in the face of enemy hostility (even if it results in His death)? Or is Jesus more like a “Braveheart” or James Bond — someone who represents the “good guys” and mows down hundreds of “bad guys” at the expense of His own life?
Gentle and kind — or rugged conqueror? Today’s white evangelical Americans prefer their Jesus to be the latter. And gay Christians favor the former.
Introduction
I was an evangelical for 40+ years; now, I am no longer. I was a warrior for seven years, a combat-ready fighter pilot (cue up “Top Gun Maverick”) who was prepared to shoot down enemy aircraft.
As an Evangelical Warrior, I deeply loved Jesus. Today, as a gay Christian, I still deeply love Jesus — my God, Savior, friend, and role model.
Evangelical Warriors want me to be just like them. But I am content with being a gay Christian.
This article explains today’s ethics and telos for Evangelical Warriors: be a tough, combative hero who rescues damsels in distress and kicks ass — just like Jesus. It also describes the modus operandi of gay Christians: focus on love.
“Wild at Heart” Masculinity
Around two decades ago, a committee of white evangelical males in America decided it was their duty to define masculinity. Apparently, white, senior evangelicals were tired of discussions about gays (a.k.a., “effeminate” men) and transgender people. They took it upon themselves to educate the world (or at least every evangelical) about “biblical masculinity and femininity.” Gosh darn it, men need to toughen up and develop a warrior spirit — and women need to submit to their divine role of supporting their husbands and raising Christian children.
In 2001, John Eldredge was my subordinate and teammate at the “Focus on the Family Institute” (a one-semester program for college Christian leaders). John is an amazingly talented man: a spell-binding instructor, a dedicated Christian and family man, and a revolutionary leader of men. And, he is a heck of a good guy to be around.
Mr. Eldredge’s seminal book “Wild at Heart” became a forever best-seller among evangelicals in 2001. The book’s definition of masculinity was revolutionary and resonated with the vast majority of evangelical straight men. With one book (and countless weekend retreats), John Eldredge transformed the thinking of numerous American evangelical men. And John does not offer up his model of masculinity for your consideration. Nope. John declares a definitive case for what it means to be both masculine and a man.
“Wild at Heart” presumes that men have a soul that longs to fight for a heroic cause. Eldredge points out that young boys innately fight with pretend weapons, conquering the bad guys. John also declares that men, at the soul level, are wild — their fighter spirit cannot (and should not) be squashed. When society attempts to do so, it produces castrated, frustrated males who know that they can achieve oh so much more in life.
John Eldredge has forged a whole generation of males who view masculinity through the Wild at Heart lens. Courageous warriors, these men attempt to be pure in their sexual restraint while being instinctively “locked and loaded” to rescue something. And that something is usually a damsel in distress. A masculine man, presumes Eldredge, is someone who fights for the heart of a woman and rescues her from all that is dangerous. As imagery, think of a prince who rescues the woman of his dreams — so that she may become the princess she always longed to be.
Wild at Heart men are also tasked with rescuing the culture. Thus, today’s white Evangelical Warriors want to return America to greatness — as the sole superpower on the planet.
So let me summarize my thoughts about my dear former colleague John Eldredge’s Wild at Heart. John is a brilliant man. Wild at Heart is just like the author: revolutionary. I know of tons of straight evangelical men who have benefitted from the book and its accompanying retreats. Such men seem to buy into the white Evangelical Warrior mantra completely: let’s go to war, just like Jesus!
All of that said, I think Wild at Heart is a bad fit for most gay Christians. The book and author presume that their brand of masculinity is true for all men. The implication for gay Christians is that by recovering your latent masculine self, you will stop being effeminate and thus convert to being straight. Now, to be fair, John Eldredge never makes such a claim. However, 70 years of conversion therapy made that exact claim! And after being “guinea pigs” for theories of orientation change, we gays now know that such claims are absolutely false. And in the wake of disappointment, some gay Christians gave up hope — and all too many committed suicides. My position: let’s not go there again.
Evangelical Warriors
The notion of evangelical men being Wild at Heart became a major platform for white Evangelical Warriors in America. It allowed the evangelical theologians and the Republican politicians to agree on the essential nature of men and women. Armed with a so-called “biblical (a.k.a., correct) worldview” regarding the genders, the Republican party and evangelical churches could prescribe correct roles for all men and women.
Concerning gay rights, the Evangelical-Republican block insists that gays need to be silent regarding declaring their sexual identity. Furthermore, Evangelical Republicans insist that gays should not be permitted to marry other gays. So what option do the Evangelical Republicans offer if gay marriage is off the table? They demand that gays must either: 1) attempt sexual orientation change efforts; 2) marry a woman, or, as a last resort, 3) pursue celibacy. Sexual orientation change efforts have been the nightmarish, long-standing psych experiment that has always failed. Furthermore, not all gay men are capable of finding a woman who is attractive (and thus marrying her). And, of course, not all gay men are called by God to be celibate.
The Evangelical Warrior script also resonated with Christian nationalism — America returning to its root of Christian faith. A Christian nation governed by Christian dogma and commandments. The Republicans and evangelicals are committed to a “culture war” for the “soul of America.” And who should lead them in battle? Evangelical Warriors, of course! While Evangelical Warriors may not say it out loud, they are actually seeking a theocracy — and not the democracy upon which America was founded.
Today it would be impossible for Republicans to divorce themselves from evangelicals. No national or state election is winnable for the Republicans without a strong majority of evangelical voters. Reciprocally, evangelicals seem to be wed to the Republican party. Despite many evangelicals holding their noses regarding former President Trump, they cannot conceive of voting for the party of ERA, gay marriages, and unisex toilets. Sexual politics rule the day!
Jesus as the Bad-Ass Conqueror
White Evangelical Warriors in America seem to emphasize the nature of Jesus as someone who turns over the market tables and leads an angelic bloodbath upon the late great planet earth. Such evangelicals do not want images of Jesus in long flowing hair, with a hippy garment, looking “beautiful” — and (if they dare say) effeminate. The Warriors prefer their Jesus to be more in the image of Rocky and “The Rock” (i.e., Dwayne Johnson). Buff, ribbed, bulging, and steely-eyed. And victorious.
Therefore, Evangelical Warriors sometimes meet in groups to discover and demonstrate their secret bad-ass self. For example, they might spend Sundays watching football together. Or they could go on a “manhood” type of retreat (where they can engage in paintball wars, strip naked as a group, and be “masculine” men).
After all, isn’t Jesus the ultimate example of our Warrior King?
Gay Christians
Gay Christians in America usually find themselves out of place around the Evangelical Warriors. Football isn’t usually their thing, nor is kicking peoples’ asses. As a stereotyped group, gay Christians tend to display love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and gentleness.
And, what-do-you-know, those qualities happen to define the “fruits of the Holy Spirit.”
And that is exactly how they perceive their Savior.
Gay Christians have confidence that such “soft” characteristics are what they need to display. In other words, they see Jesus’ character as being more like themselves. And gay Christians would accurately argue that their sanctification process is supposed to change them into being even more like Jesus’ kind and gentle nature. And regarding the fruits of the Spirit, gays have a real head-start over their straight fellow Evangelical Warriors.
Gay Christians primarily emphasize the central importance of love. And it is hard to argue against that when Jesus states that the whole commandments can be satisfied by two acts of love (i.e., loving Jesus and loving every neighbor).
Gay Christians do not see their primary role as conquering other nations “in the name of Jesus.” Rather, gay Christians take seriously the notion of “turning the other cheek” and loving one’s enemies.
In other words: make love, not war.
Both And
Golly, can gay Christians be any more different than the white Evangelical Warriors?
Picture two circles that only barely overlap. Their only commonality is that both circles aim to “love Jesus and neighbors.”
In such an example, gay Christians provide many good things not found in the Evangelical Warriors’ circle. Conversely, the Warriors possess excellent qualities not possessed amongst gay Christians.
So which of the two circles is “better?”
In today’s American culture, it is common for one “tribe” to ridicule and attempt to disempower the other tribe. And yet, if both tribes are centered on Jesus, couldn’t it be true that they both are “right?”
I (as a gay Christian) am very grateful for the qualities that the Evangelical Warriors bring to God’s Kingdom.
And here is my hope: that Evangelical Warriors would be very grateful for the qualities we gay Christians bring to the Kingdom of God.
For a much better discussion of the topic of evangelical masculinity, you absolutely must read “Jesus and John Wayne.” Here’s the link:
Dr. Mike Rosebush is the founder/author of GAYoda. He has a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology and is a retired Licensed Professional Counselor with nine years of counseling and mentoring thousands of gay Christian men. A short synopsis of Dr. Rosebush’s life can be found at I Lived the Most Unusual Gay Christian Life Ever. Please read the complete set of his articles here. You may contact Dr. Rosebush at mikerosebush75@gmail.com.
