I Prefer Romantic Hallmark Gay Movies

No offense intended, Grindr

Call me old school; call me old. But I am a sucker for romantic love.

Grindr, this article is not intended to slam you. After all, you definitely have a large niche in gay culture. Homoerotic titillation is an intense arousal. So is the suspicion that with merely one click, you can experience passionate sex with a relative stranger.

Yet, romance gets me going all the time.

My husband and I have been watching Hallmark Christmas movies, wherein two main characters are gay men who fall in love or are already married. We have greatly enjoyed such movies as “The Christmas House” (both the original and the follow-up), “Dashing in December,” and “The Christmas Setup.” And there are more than those.

I give Hallmark two thumbs up for creating movies (and then actually airing them) that show gays, gay dating, gay love, and gay marriage. The showing of such a film is a very bold and courageous step for Hallmark, given that their base audience is women, older folks, and socially conservative.

And yet, there is obviously an appeal for this genre of gay movies — or else they would not continue to be produced and shown. It warms my heart to know that there are gobs of other gay men who, like me, get off on gay romance.

If you have never watched a Hallmark Christmas movie (gay or straight), it always follows the same flow. Person 1 meets Person 2. They grow to strongly be in love with each other. Some crisis happens that appears to ruin their relationship. And finally, magically, they recover and end happily ever after in a blissful union.

Hallmark’s “model for success” works!

This romance model worked for my relationship with my husband. And yes, we are very happy in love.

There is something very special about romance. My belief is that the romance drive is hard-wired into most people — straight or gay. I observe it all the time. In fact, to me, it is one of the greatest rationales for the validity of gay marriage. In my opinion, God did not intend only straight people to crave romance; rather, gays also have that same drive.

The homoromantic drive happens something like this. We gays notice other men who we find attractive — we cannot stop ourselves from doing so. Next, we maneuver to get to know the person of our interest. We often date that person to discover if he is “Mr. Right.” And for some of us gay men, it culminates in marriage — a promise to be there for the other “until death do us part.”

Gay romantic love is just as valid as that of straights.

I love holding hands, hugging, cuddling, and being physically affectionate with my husband. It is safe. It is “authorized.” And it is wonderful!

But apparently, romantic gay love is not for every gay man.

I was astounded to learn that only approximately 10% of gay men in America get married! Why is that so, given that 80% of straight men become married?

Well, one could make a case that restrictions against gay marriage play a role in the lower numbers. One could also say that cultural non-acceptance of gay marriage (especially within Evangelicals) may be a powerful retardant.

Whatever the reason for the disparity of gay married men, it appears that the vast majority of gay men prefer a Grindr relationship to Hallmark love. After all, Grindr is immediately accessible, quick, erotic, and fills a need. And yet, Grindr is not usually gay romance.

Gay romance puts an emphasis on lasting love. Love is patient, kind, and other-centered.

Such virtues are not the stuff for the faint of heart. They require ongoing work, sacrifice, and submission. Ahh, but the effort required is the glue that holds families together.

Do most gays want to have a family? Statistically, the answer seems to be “no.”

However, as for me, I prefer to be snuggled head-on-shoulder with my husband, on our love seat, holding hands and playing footsies under our warm Christmas blanket, sipping some bourbon eggnog or Gluhwein, as we both revel in watching romantic Hallmark gay love movies.

Ah, such bliss.

Dr. Mike Rosebush (Ph.D., Counseling Psychology; he, him, his;) is the creator and editor of GAYoda, plus a writer for Backyard Church. A short synopsis of Dr. Rosebush’s life can be found at I Lived the Most Unusual Gay Christian Life Ever. He may be contacted at mikerosebush75@gmail.com.