My Christmas Gift to Gays and Evangelicals Alike

GAYoda: Today’s global magazine for gay Christians

My Christmas gift to those of you who are evangelicals is to come and lounge awhile in my home — and meet my gay friends. Here is how this celebration would look.

Whether you are gay or evangelical, you are welcome to come to my home and enjoy some rare fellowship. All are equal, and my husband Reggie and me would serve all.

We would greet you at our front door (the one with the Christmas wreath, plus the decorated tree, right next to our doorbell). Huge smiles would welcome you, and Reggie and I are famous for our long, warm “gay” hugs. You can tell us apart in that Reggie is the handsome black man, and I am the somewhat older, white bald guy. We want to learn the name you like us to call you and your preferred pronouns.

Come, then, and enter our house of Christmas joy!

You will immediately recognize wintergreen garlands surrounding the doors inside, with just a hint of pine scent. The soft glow of lights radiates gently: red, greens, yellows, oranges, and white. Reggie or I will hang your warm jacket in the closet (it’s supposed to be below freezing for part of the Christmas season). After you take off your shoes, we will offer you extra thick socks (purchased at a Vermont country store) for your comfort.

Would you like a Starbucks peppermint mocha latte? Or maybe you prefer egg nog with butterscotch schnapps and a sprinkle of nutmeg? Since I love to bake homemade cookies, you will soon be offered warm chocolate chip or macadamia nut.

Reggie and I will gently introduce you to a few other holiday guests. Some will be gay and out. Some will be closeted. Likewise, some will be evangelicals with a confident “Christian worldview.” In contrast, other evangelicals will simply love to love on people.

For those who are introverts or extroverts, I will comfortably scooch up next to you as you tell me your story. Take as long as you want; I am a notoriously good listener. Reggie is shyer than me, but he too will remember everything you tell him.

Tell me about your 2022, please. What are some of your happiest memories? Reggie and I will glowingly speak about our first year of marriage. Reggie has been my greatest worldly gift, and I praise him each day (truly). And Reggie is equally effusive in thanking me for being me. Neither of us tries to “makeover” the other; rather, we are perfectly content to let each other naturally exude the gifts which God endowed us.

As you convey your thankfulness for 2022, Christmas music softly soothes us. For evangelical people, you can easily recognize the Christmas hits of Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith. And our gay friends will be serenaded by Johnny Mathis and Josh Groban. Many of the songs will be familiar to you — feel free to join Reggie in singing along (a wonderful habit of his). And don’t be too surprised if either of us invites you to dance (something which Reggie and I regularly do together). Slow or fast, it matters not. What matters is that you feel comfortable swaying with a newfound friend.

What is it about your gayness that you are so thankful for? For me, it is my innate desire to be kind to each person I meet. For you, it may be your creative talents. Reggie and I will be eager to learn about your God-given gifts and praise their value.

Conversely, how have you been harmed during your life simply because you are gay? As you explain those abuses, please allow me to hold you tightly (and I too will probably be sobbing).

Likewise, what about your evangelicalism makes you love Jesus so much? Please, share that with us. How do you best relate to Jesus — is it His forgiveness, wisdom, or both? I want each evangelical who visits our home to be shown tremendous worth. Not because you have memorized lots of verses. Not because you have created a solid systematic theology for yourself. Instead, I want you to know how much I value you simply because you are inherently valuable.

What holds you back (gay or evangelical) from pursuing social justice? What limits you (gay or evangelical) from forgiving someone’s offenses? Please, go ahead and tell me your honest answer; I will not judge you.

Reggie (being gifted at serving) will make the rounds with a platter of cheeses and crackers. He will also ask you if you would like a stronger drink. How about some warm gluhwein from Germany? Or a local Colorado-crafted heavy beer? Is it martini time — or do you prefer a mellow Cabernet wine? And if alcohol is not your pleasure, Reggie or I would be eager to serve you dark hot chocolate, with a mound of whip cream melting on top.

I may ask you about your local evangelical church. What makes it so special for you? Would I, as a fully out, gay married man, be comfortable joining you for a service? If Reggie and I entered your church holding hands, would that aggravate those in your lobby (or, more importantly, would you be embarrassed to call me your friend)?

Reggie may inquire about your gay-affirming local church. How has that environment become “home” for you? What would make some evangelical guests at my home wince when they hear your pastor’s sermon? If any of my evangelical friends joined you, would they ever hear the word “Jesus” spoken at your church service?

Gay or evangelical — would we sit in judgment at someone else’s church? Or, would we find commonalities and focus on how we are mutually benefitted?

As time passes during your visit to our home, Reggie and I would invite you to stay and watch a Christmas movie of your choice. I would love to learn why that movie has such precious meaning for you!

After a while, as you become fully comfortable in our home, would you hold hands with another person and pray together? What would you want Jesus to change about your “insides?” Do you long for more courage, patience, peace, or joy? Could you make your request known out loud — so that anyone in my home would hear about your prayer? If not, what holds you back from becoming known to others? Do you fear that someone will share your info with others? If so, are you willing to treat your neighbor the same way you would like to be treated?

As the visit winds down and you have enjoyed your last cup of coffee, do you think you “held back” from being authentic to others? What if Reggie and I modeled being authentic — would that make it easier for you?

If you are gay, would you trust an evangelical person more?

If you are evangelical, would you trust a gay person more?

Instead of saying “Merry Christmas” when you exit, what if we said, “May the memory of Jesus’ birth make us joyful this year?” Would you be embarrassed to share with others your profound love for Jesus?

And if you were to act more like Jesus, what would you offer Reggie, me, and the other guests as it came to your turn to leave?

Your love.

Dr. Mike Rosebush (he, him, his; Ph.D., Counseling Psychology) is the founder/writer for GAYoda: Today’s global magazine for gay Christians. Contact Dr. Rosebush at mikerosebush75@gmail.com.