In the closet
This new update is gay.
The words jump out at me. Normally I don’t read any of the messages in this chat, or any chat for any class for that matter. I don’t tend to care about what they’re talking about and nobody in the chats likes me. These words jump out though.
Of course you’re using the word gay as a synonym for bad or annoying, buddy. Of course you’re using my identity as your ammunition. You’re not the kind of guy who’s ever been put down for something you can’t change. You’re straight, white, and for fucks sake you’re even rich.
Now of course, this guy has been told not to say this before. He’s been told by many people, myself included. He hasn’t listened, so I now just resort to glaring holes through his skull every time the word gay comes out of his mouth.
The worst part is, he used to be a nice guy. He was likeable, easy to talk to, funny. Then he somehow became popular and like magic, he’s a douchebag now. Imagine that.
I guess that’s what happens. People find out they can be terrible people and they take that route instead of being nice. Maybe it’s easier to disrespect people and push them around.
My fingers hover over my keyboard as I debate whether or not to respond. He knows I hate him, I think. What’s there for me to do without my whole class thinking I’m gay though? If I try to say anything, he’ll say something worse. Besides, even though he’s an ass, he seems to be likeable to some people. If people side with him they’ll hate me more than they already do.
I click the power button on my phone and toss it beside me, rolling on my back to stare at my ugly popcorn ceiling. People like him are why I’ve lived the last years of my life lying about who I am.
Maybe I’m giving them power by giving in and being scared, but what else can I do? There’s so many ridiculous and mean carbon copies of this guy. How is one girl supposed to fight off an army of idiots from her corner in the closet?
