How to Dress a Man
Traditional ideas of masculinity are reinforced by policing and shaming what boys and men wear in order to confine them to the realm of toughness and stoicism: however, allowing cis-gendered men to dress in traditionally feminine clothing can have the positive effect of freedom of expression through clothing. The first step is making this possible is to remove the stigma placed on boys and men who dress in feminine clothing styles. The second step is for men to give themselves permission to wear feminine clothing if they so choose to.
Removing the stigma placed on boys and men who dress in gender non-conforming clothing is key to redefining clothing gender norms for men. Men are expected to wear suits, shirts and pants, and boys are expected to wear t-shirts, shorts and pants. Part of dressing the part of a male is conforming to these expectations. In Lee Airton’s book “Gender: your Guide”, they define gender expression as how a person behaves and how they appear in terms of clothing, hair, make-up, body language and voice.
The expectation of how a cis-gender male should dress is very narrow in the scope of clothing options that exist. When males deviate from the traditional dress expectations of their gender they are often the target of shaming and bullying. The expectation that all men should dress and express their gender in a specific way in order to be seen as male or masculine is narrow minded.
In Sarah Rich’s article “Today’s Masculinity is Stifling”, she illustrates the male gender conditioning of boys through her perspective of a mother of gender non-conforming son who wants to wear a dress to his first day of preschool.
Rich comments on how boys are shamed when they appear feminine. This type of bullying often targets the gender expression of a child. Comments like “Are you a boy or are you a girl?” are often invasive and hurtfully said to non-gender conforming boys. The social stigma placed on boys who do not conform to masculine standards of dress is real and needs to be eliminated in order to relieve boys and men of the pressure to conform to masculine standards.
Youth is a time of experimentation and exploration and yet young boys are not allowed to experiment with their clothing outside of the narrow confines of boyhood acceptable t-shirts and jeans. What is so threatening to society about a boy who wants to wear a pretty dress? Many people might see that as “gay”, and some of this stigma and shaming is born out of homophobia. In a 2011 study “Every Class in Every School: The first national climate survey on homophobia, biphobia and transphobia in Canadian schools. Final report”, Taylor et al. cites that
“74% of trans students, 55% of sexual minority students, and 26% of non-LGBTQ students reported having been verbally harassed about their gender expression.”
Boys who defy the norms of dress for their gender suffer from the homophobia directed at them. Some of these boys may be LGBTQA individuals and some of them may not be, but neither deserves to be shamed for wearing articles of clothing that are non-gender conforming. The intent of this shaming and bullying to boys who dress in gender non-conforming clothing is to maintain the traditional norms of male gender expression. Policing young boy’s attire by shaming gender non-conforming dress reinforces the male-female binary. Not all men fall fit the masculine stereotypes so easily and it is unreasonable to force them to a standard that they are not inclined to naturally.
In Ben Barry’s article from 2017 titled, “What Happens to Men Who Don’t Conform to Masculine Clothing Norms at Work?”, he discusses how differing from the prescribed gender norms of clothing for males can affect them negatively. He discusses how a capitalist economy created a masculinized office work vs feminized home dichotomy. The business suits of men were equated with the masculinity and power versus the more whimsical designs afforded to women’s wear.
After interviewing 50 men between the ages of 22 and 78, and of various: age groups, ethnicities, sexual orientations, body types, occupations and clothing styles, and consulting other research studies, Barry concluded that men who conformed to masculine ideals of dress were rewarded while others who wore feminine clothing of elaborate design and decoration were denied opportunities. This discrimination based on clothing for men wearing feminine clothing is another example of the stigma men face when they dare to venture beyond the expectations of traditional men’s clothing. Barry relays how men he interviewed felt censored in their clothing choices to comply with the masculine standards.
When men are allowed to wear gender non-conforming clothing they can experience freedom of self-expression through clothing. Clothing is a form of self-expression and men should be allowed to wear the elaborate and beautiful designs that have been exclusive to traditional women’s wear clothing.
Men also have an onus to give themselves permission to wear what appeals to their tastes whether it be traditionally masculine or feminine. In Will Welch’s article, “Pharell on Evolving Maculinity and “Spiritual Warfare”.”, he interviews Pharell Williams who has been known to incorporate Chanel and Celine women’s wear items as part of his attire. Pharell Williams states in the article,
“When you listen to yourself and you’re comfortable in who you are, you wear what you feel like fits and looks right on you. And that’s it.”
about wearing non-gender conforming clothing. Men have to give themselves permission to follow their fashion instincts and wear what ever clothing appeals to them whether it be labelled men’s wear or women’s wear.
Alfred Tong discusses his experiences wearing dresses designed for men and the liberating experiences he in his article titled, “Can a man get sway with wearing a dress in the 21st Century?”. The luxurious fabrics and elaborate designs that have been used in women’s clothing can be used in the designing of men’s clothing as well. In traditional men’s clothing such as suits, the luxurious silk and satin fabrics are reserved for the sliver of fabric that makes up the tie and sometimes the lining of the most expensive made to order suits. It’s as if sumptuary laws were still in place for menswear that limited the use of luxurious sumptuous fabrics. Allowing the use of more fanciful fabric in menswear is a gateway to allowing men to wear clothing that is less rigged in adherence to the standards of traditional men’s clothing.
Women’s clothing is often more extravagant and visually stunning and if some men desire to wear clothing with those qualities then they should be able to do so. Men should have freedom of self-expression by being able to wear clothing that is beyond their traditionally accepted men’s clothing and they need the ability to do so without fearing shaming or harassment for choosing to wear what they want to wear.
