Exploring the “languages” of Appreciation and Recognition
What does it mean to be recognized in a work setting? Do you ever feel that no one notices your hard work? How does feeling unnoticed affect you?
Feeling valued and having our work recognized is one of our core needs.
There are many theorists who have studied human needs. According to Professor Dr. Vern Neufeld Redekop of Saint-Paul University, the five human identity needs are for meaning, connectedness, security, recognition and action. These needs are universal. When they are met, we feel good and can be at our best. When they are not met different emotions arise. When our need for recognition is not met, the predominant resulting emotion can be shame. Shame can wreak havoc on our sense of self, our confidence, our ability to work well, and our relationships.
We live in a world where most people still subscribe to the belief that shame is a good tool for keeping people in line. Not only is this wrong, but it’s dangerous.
― Dr. Brené Brown
When we are recognized, we are affirmed that our work matters, that we have contributed, and that we’ve made a positive impact. At a deeper level, we feel validated and motivated, and gain a sense of worth, dignity and respect. And when we recognize the work of others, we contribute to their well-being and build trust and positive working relationships.
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
― Maya Angelou
The difference between recognition and appreciation
Professional speaker, organizational consultant, and author Mike Robbins distinguishes between recognition and appreciation:
- recognition is based on people’s performance and results (what they do)
- appreciation recognizes people’s value as human beings (who they are)
Although recognition and appreciation are distinct, both are important. Even if we cannot fully recognize someone’s work, we can still appreciate the person. That is important because it is during challenging times that we most often need to feel appreciated.
The five “languages” of appreciation
What makes one person feel appreciated does not necessarily make someone else feel the same way. According to Gary Chapman and Paul White in their book The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace, there are five languages of appreciation, and it’s essential to use a person’s “language” in order to convey appreciation effectively. In addition, whether we are expressing recognition or appreciation, we must always be sincere and authentic.
Here are Chapman’s and White’s five languages of appreciation:
- Words of affirmation: Words, whether spoken or written, can express appreciation and gratitude and have a positive impact. Some people prefer one-on-one communication, and others like to receive praise in the presence of others. Simple words such as “thank you” and “great job” can go a long way. Specific words of appreciation can go even further.
- Tangible gifts: When considering giving a gift to a work colleague to show your appreciation, it’s the thought that’s important, not the amount of money you spend. If you take the time to notice what your colleagues enjoy (chocolate, candy, coffee or tea) and learn about their hobbies and interests (travelling, sports, magazines, books or crafts), buying a small gift related to their tastes shows that you know them as a person and understand what’s important to them.
- Acts of service: For some, receiving help from a colleague can be a big boost. Helping a teammate “dig out” from being overloaded, working together on a project that would be difficult to do alone, or just working alongside a colleague on an everyday task are all ways to show appreciation for a colleague’s efforts.
- Quality time: Spending focused time with a co-worker or supervisor can be satisfying for many. Others enjoy having less focused time, such as hanging out with their co-workers, working together as a team on a particular project, or just having someone listen to them. The quality of time desired can depend on whether it’s with colleagues or with a supervisor.
- Appropriate physical touch: At work, physical touch must be done mindfully, fully respecting the other person’s comfort level, boundaries, cultural differences and workplace norms. But physical touch can be appropriate and meaningful. It usually occurs spontaneously and in the context of a celebration, for example, a high-five, a fist bump or a congratulatory handshake.
Putting your appreciation into action
Now that you know the five languages of appreciation, consider how those around you like to be appreciated. Then show your appreciation through personalized action. Also let others know how you prefer to be appreciated. Perhaps people have been trying to show their appreciation to you but in a way that has not been meaningful.
As a workplace, let’s find a way to weave recognition, appreciation and positive relationships into our lives more regularly. Recognition and Reward is, indeed, one of the 13 psychosocial factors identified in the National Standard of Canada for Psychological Health and Safety in the Workplace. We all stand to benefit.
Being told you’re appreciated is one of the simplest and most uplifting things you can hear.
— Sue Fitzmaurice
If you want to understand your needs and the needs of your colleagues better, or if you want to find the right words to express yourself, explore the consultation and coaching services available to you through the Informal Conflict Management System (ICMS). Its services are confidential, voluntary, impartial and neutral. They include:
- one-on-one coaching and consultation
- facilitated conversations
- mediation
- group interventions
- training
To learn about ICMS services available to you:
- consult the Government of Canada’s Informal Conflict Management System web page
- explore your department’s or agency’s intranet to see what your organization has to offer
The Deputy Ministers Task Force on Public Sector Innovation, mandated to play an action-oriented role in experimenting with emerging tools and approaches, has identified workplace well-being as a key priority project for the Government of Canada Entrepreneurs. With the support of the Task Force, GC Entrepreneurs are exploring how technology-based solutions can be used to promote workplace well-being. Learn more
References
Gary Chapman and Paul White: The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace: Empowering Organizations by Encouraging People. Moody Publishers, Jul. 6, 2011
National Standard of Canada for Psychological Health and Safety in the Workplace: https://www.mentalhealthcommission.ca/English/what-we-do/workplace/national-standard
Video on the psychosocial factors of Recognition and Reward https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoL8e44qd4A&t=0s&list=PL2NuAPXp8ohZmoVaECl6sRiV9lQ25XkId&index=9
Vern Neufeld Redekop: From Violence to Blessing: How an Understanding of a Deep-rooted Conflict Can Open Paths of Reconciliation: How an Understanding of Deep-Rooted Conflict Can Open Paths to Reconciliation, 2002
Mike Robbins: Why We Need Appreciation (Not Just Recognition) at Work https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/video/item/why_we_need_appreciation_not_just_recognition_at_work
