The Devil and Ms. Knowles
Beyoncé, Jay-Z, Kanye West and all the rest of today’s pop superstars are devil-worshipping thralls of the Illuminati. Who knew?
Remember the good old days, when it was heavy metal bands that worshipped Satan? These days, openly infernal acts like Ghost B.C. are ignored by the cranks and crackpots in favor of an alleged secret Satanism practiced by pop stars. Beyoncé, Jay-Z and Madonna have joined forces to form an autotuned cabal of evil.
It must be true because I read it on the internet. Plug the name of any pop star into Google along with the word “Satanic” and a dizzying rabbit hole of websites and YouTube videos opens up before you. This endless analysis of photos, choreography, and fashion choices lays bare a vast conspiracy to poison the minds of American youth, give the Illuminati sway over the masses and pave the way for the Antichrist. It’s the Satanic Panic of the Eighties all over again, except even more nonsensical.
For example, the top search result for “Satanic Beyoncé”brings up an article frantically titled “Beyoncé Admits to Demon Possession While Embracing Satanic Imagery,” which is typical of the genre. A sample:
Parents, pay close attention to what your kids are listening to. Beyoncé’s music will corrupt them and fill their heads with negative, sinister and confusing imagery. Beyoncé freely admits to being possessed by her spirit guide, Sasha Fierce. So lets take her at her word, assume that she is possessed with a demon and working for Satan, and don’t let her and her music within 500 miles of your children.
The above is from a site called Now The End Begins, which was founded by Editor in Chief Geoffrey Grider in 2009 as, “a website connecting current events with Bible prophecy” of the end times. Grider points to Beyoncé’s discussion of Sasha Fierce and Jay-Z’s “Do What Thou Wilt” sweatshirt as a troubling admission of diabolatry. “There is no ‘theory’ regarding this point,” says Grider. “By simply taking them at their word, the case that they are Satanists is easily and clearly made.”
This is a world in which everything is a symbol of malevolence. Justin Bieber’s owl tattoo represents the Owl of Moloch. Jay-Z’s palms-forward hand motion represents the Illuminati’s eye in the pyramid. A goat skull printed on the front of Beyoncé’s corset is really Baphomet, the deity supposedly worshipped by the Knights Templar. Boogeymen from every religion - Kali of the Hindus, Osiris of the ancient Egyptians, and countless others - are cherry picked whenever a convenient image presents itself. The stranger and more exotic, the better.
The people behind these wild theories see the symbols as an interconnected occult web, a trap to ensnare good Christian minds. The main problem with constructing a grand unified mystical conspiracy theory, though, is that it makes you sound crazy.
The origins of Baphomet are murky at best, but became associated with occult tradition thanks to the Knights Templar (who are featured in plenty of their own conspiracy theories) when the Inquisition tortured the name out of them. It took another five centuries before Eliphas Levi, in 1856, used the name in his famous goat illustration. Moloch, meanwhile, was the bull god of the Canaanites, the ancient enemies of the Jews, who encouraged his worshippers to sacrifice children in furnaces. What do you get when you put the two deities together? Nothing. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t actually connected. That means we just need more material. Quick, someone get a book on ancient Egyptian mythology.
And what of the Illuminati, the mystical organization behind it all, the villain at the heart of every conspiracy theory? It was a secret society founded in Bavaria by Adam Weishaupt in 1776 and permanently disbanded by government edict in 1785. The great irony of the Illuminati’s enduring sinister reputation is that Weishaupt was a radical social reformer and rationalist. He founded the Illuminati in order to sever the influence of the Catholic church over the state, to promote gender equality and, above all, to combat superstition. Perhaps those goals sound nefarious to some.
When heavy metal took on the trappings of Satanism in the Eighties, it took on more than just the look. It took on a semblance of the lifestyle, combining image with lyrics and antics. This was partly because it was cool, partly because it sold records and, most importantly, partly because it infuriated the people behind the Satanic Panic. Grider takes all this at face value, though. “Song titles like “Highway To Hell” and “Running With The Devil” and all the rest show what they believe and teach through their music,” he says. Regardless, today, when Kanye West wears an Actual Pain t-shirt, he’s not co-opting Satanism, he’s co-opting the fact that heavy metal co-opted Satanism, and only for an evening.
Grider doesn’t see it that way. “People expect it from the black metal people,” he says, “but it’s still somewhat shocking when the pop crowd does [it]. Pop is supposed to be cute and sassy and bubble-gummy…not Satanic.” For most pop stars, though, dark imagery is just stage dressing dreamed up by stylists and marketing people. The songs and the lifestyle are about the same things pop songs are always about - love, sex, parties, break-ups, and more sex. While that sort of thing might not be exactly Christian, calling Katy Perry a devil worshipper because her earrings look kinda, sorta, like the Masonic seal is ridiculous. It makes as much sense to argue DC Comics is a Satanic cult because, for many years, their New York offices were located at 666 Park Avenue.
Pop stars, who make music I don’t like, who are rich and famous and beautiful on a scale far larger than anything in my life, who behave in ways I do not approve of, become a kind of Other. Why are they so fabulous? Why not me? Well, because they sold their soul to the devil, that’s why. They joined a global cabal. They didn’t play fair. That secret knowledge - that the game is rigged - helps me, with my bills and my crappy job, sleep a little bit better. And so, Beyoncé and company join a long tradition of diabolical entertainers that stretches back from Judas Priest to Robert Johnson to Franz Liszt to Niccolo Paganini and beyond.
Now that we’ve cleared up that Satanic distraction, let’s talk about the real threat: the shape shifting lizard aliens that are masquerading as the British royal family…
