A Dad in the Limelight

The owner of http://dadofdivas.com/ contacted me via Twitter and asked me if I’d like to fill out his questionaire/interview to be featured in his “Dads in the Limelight” series.

Of course, I was honoured to be asked and it wasn’t hard for me to respond to his questions. It’s easy for me to babble on when it comes to being a father!

The following is what I’ve submitted. If and when it is published on “Dad of Divas”, I’ll be sure to update this article with the URL!

1) Tell me about yourself, (as well as how you are in the limelight for my readers knowledge)

I’m a new media designer at St-Boniface Hospital Research. There I create content for scientists to either help promote their work, or use as teaching aids. This entails posters, pamphlets, illustrations, logos, and the centre’s website.

Online, I’m very active in social media, sharing content I find of personal interest; Usually quite nerdy or geeky stuff. Hence my most commonly used online handle, PegCityNerd.

If I’m not doing anything on a mobile device, at work editing a video, or simply being a parent at home, I’ll be found with a controller in hand playing video games. Destiny is the current choice for my past time.

2) Tell me about your family

My wife and I have been married for 8 years now, but we’ve been together as an item for 14! We met through mutual friends through the sport compact car scene here in Winnipeg. I used to be a “motor head” and had a vehicle done up for car shows.

I have two daughters, ages 5 and 1.

The oldest is in dance and swimming. She loves to sing, dance, watch My Little Pony, and play with her little sister.

My youngest is a going concern, but provides a contagious smile that lights up a room. She’s walking and learning how to talk and sing. Her recent accomplishment is being able to go (slide) down the stairs, safely on her tummy!

3) What has been the largest challenge you have had in being a father?

Patience.

Kids will test you. Life will test you. I’m one to likes to keep life under control, but the reality is, having children will make you feel like you’ve lost some control. That’s not a bad thing, it is just a change.

My boss and close friend, also a father of two, told me a funny, yet accurate statement.

“When babies are born, their heads are empty.”

They just don’t know any better until you teach them otherwise. Sometimes, we can’t know to teach them something is wrong until after the wrong thing has been done.

It’s easy to lose your cool when you go to use the bathroom, only to find a full wad of toilet paper within the bowl of the toilet. I know I lost my patience and certainly raised my voice at my eldest. In retrospect, she simply didn’t know it was bad, or how it would effect the functionality of the toilet. Had I been patience and kept this in mind, I could have taught her it wasn’t okay in a much calmer matter.

This is a mentality I try to keep with me, and especially remember with my younger daughter. It isn’t easy though.

4) What advice would you give to other fathers?

Be patient.

There’s a theme here. I may not always be able to “practice what I preach”, but I feel I am qualified enough to say this much.

Your children look to you for guidance, support, and safety. They will always do something that isn’t safe, wise, moral, etc. Unless they are repeated doing something you’ve corrected them on before, keep your cool and be patient.

The same goes when they’re older. I recall my own father being frustrated with me when helping with math homework. He’s a wiz with numbers. Me? Not so much. I’d rarely get the help I truly needed because he wasn’t patient enough with me to understand something and would walk away because the deed was done.

Show your children the most patience you possibly can. It’ll be worth it, trust me.

5) How have you come to balance parenthood and outside life?

The balance with parenthood and the outside life hasn’t been overly difficult to accomplish. Many of our friends had children at the same as us. Although we see each other less often, the understanding of our busy schedules is mutually there.

The friends who either were not married or had kids of their own are either seen less, or not at all. It was by no choice of our own. Life just happens this way sometimes.

6) What have you learned from the fathers that you have interacted with?

The question here is, what haven’t I learned from other fathers? Since I learned my wife was pregnant with our first, I’ve soaked up as much advice from other fathers as much as humanly possible!

My boss, whom I mentioned earlier, has been one in particular I’ve paid a lot of attention too when it comes to parenting. He has his kids in all kinds of extra curricular activities, and he is always taking part in what they do. Hands on. Keeping your kids busy outside of school is a good way to keep them out of trouble. Boredom can be bad thing. His kids are never bored, and at the ages of around 16 and 19 now, I know they’ve turned out to be pretty spectacular!

7) What else would you share regarding your experiences as a father thus far?

Pay attention to your children. Soak up what they say and do — even the little things. Document what you can. With a camera in our pocket, there’s little reason why you can’t snap a photo or take a short movie. They’ll appreciate it as adults.

Teach them. You don’t have to be a teacher to do this. Just share what you know. Start with the simple things like the alphabet and number and grow from there.

8) What have been the most memorable experiences that you have had thus far as a parent?

The birth of each my children easily qualify as the most memorable experiences. Perhaps that will change as they get older and accomplish more in life.

That said, my five year old daughter’s first dance recital was pretty dang awesome! Seeing her on stage in her costume and twirling like a ballerina certainly made my eyes water.