Insecure in Rich places
Talking about money is a taboo, but lets be real, I went from piss poor to middle class by switching my career from doing braids in my house, to working in the tech space for a corporation in less than a year and have been working in this industry ever since.
I hate to admit it but Im not fully comfortable yet, being in the middle working class that is. I was used to fighting the constant battle for public aid and hustling to pay rent with hair clients that I gave major discounts to (like $20 sew-ins).
I will apologize now if I sound completely unhappy with my career and my life, trust me I am. I loved doing hair ‘til my fingers ached and now I am happy working in tech. Thats not what I want to get across in this article.
I spent the past 2 years traveling to different cities, renting cars, eating the most awesome food ever and staying in nice places (not crazy lavish, but nice). During these times, when I’m not at home, I always felt a bit weird being in a decent place, in a “decent” neighborhood. I always felt out of place, like I don’t deserve to be here.
I come to these nice places and nice restaurants and I automatically feel unworthy.
I look at the people who live this “nice” life everyday and I question myself, how did I get to where I am now, and how can I get to where they are at?
I hate having these thoughts because I know, that I don’t know what their life is like, whether they woke up with money, they worked super hard or super smart with their financial decisions or in actuality they are thousands or hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt.
So everyday, I stop myself and I ask myself, do I really need to be rich? is that what I am really after?
I know a lot of people are reading this and are like, WTF yes we all do!
But I don’t want wealth, I really just need the financial needs for me and my 5 kids to be comfortable, which may take a lot of….well… money. Not extra money in particular, even though it will help speed the process, but I need to work with what I have, save, be smart with the money I do get.
Nope, Im a hypocrite, I want wealth, but I also need to define it properly. I want financial stability for my family in the present and also in the future (5 kids and college with destroy me). I need a house, I need to sit down and thing about this more.
For now the big thing that I need to focus on is being more grateful. I worked hard, I can probably work harder and smarter, but Im working on it. Hopefully I can get comfortable in where I am at and I will be comfortable where I will go. And for those who are looking for better, look at the resources you have and use them because trust me they are out there.
- training programs at the public aid office or WIA
- meetups that have classes
- or do what I did http://icstars.org, while staying in a very cheap studio and having a side hustle or job
- message and/or email me to help find educational resources to help you ehicalm@gmail.com (I’m not a coach and I’m not charging people to help people, thats a weird concept for me)
