Asking the right questions.

The world freaks out.

No answers, all questions. What is to be done?

We keep at it, a certain direction, but forget to form a style of our own. The process cheats us.

I say, the answers are overrated. Answers may change, answers evolve, answers vary, across time, space, and identities. What matters is asking the right questions.

‘Breaking the mold’ requires us to know what it is in the first place. In our childhood, early teens, sometimes, way into our mid-twenties, we ask the question, “What should I do?” Self awareness requires us to tweak it a little bit : “What do I want?” Yes, as children we do often use ‘want’ in our statements. “I want to be an astronaut” “I want to be a pilot”… but these aren’t value based judgements (We’re children after all). There’s no real assessment of what drives us. For some reason, as we grow older, we lose even this little bit of innocence and start asking the opposite, wrong questions under peer pressure or listening to our elders.

There’s a reason for this. Since childhood, we are fed this weird conception that reality has to be a complete drudgery and anything else is “too idealistic.” “Grow up” equates to giving up on visions of life in favor of….whatever is considered ‘optimal’, which it’s most likely not.

Of course, this isn’t an endorsement of irresponsible hedonism. The question of ‘want’ is a strong and sometimes dangerous one and should be asked with precaution. This could very well lead to twisted paths if not paired with the right value. Desire is the dangerous and heavy weight that could cause tremendous destruction or help us grow; it’s up to us to harness it.

Why place the individual desire at a higher pedestal? Because it leads to a clearer vision of the truth. It allows people to be honest with themselves and others. It gives space for our authentic selves. “Reality” would continue to suck if we aren’t allowed to be our honest selves.

Now you might be thinking, “The idea of ‘self’ keeps changing over time” but that misses the point and context behind this idea. We evolve over time and there are major changes in our being, for sure, but the seeds and foundation are seldom changed.

There is a place for ‘should’, but again, in the right context. A required action for a desired outcome would be a great instance.

‘Should’ applies to values, integrity, ethics. Not to distorted and narrow visions of ‘reality.’

‘Should’ applies to personal milestones. Not second hand identities.

‘Want’ may not always refer to shallow material desires. They may be true, deep longings like a longing for freedom; freedom from fear, disease, and self-doubt being examples of that.

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Originally published at www.seermag.com on January 21, 2019.