Everyone We Forgot

Ashlei Cox
Jul 25, 2017 · 6 min read
Taken from Google Images

Sometimes when Stella Charlotte is completely alone she cries; this has already been mentioned before. Right now she is crying because Nia is dying, they just saw each other and that’s what she said. She was so calm about it, “The doctors say I have five to seven years left-but that’s such a long time for science so who knows?” Everyone else freaked out, turned her instantly to a newborn with a bomb on its back. She became something to fear and worry over. But for some reason when Stella looked into Nia’s eyes she saw this deep need of doubt…maybe that’s not the right word. Whatever the word is Stella saw it, felt it really. So she folded her arms behind her and rolled her eyes.

“You swallowed glass in 2012 and that didn’t kill you so I doubt this will. Besides didn’t we make a pact to die together? I’m not ready so you couldn’t possibly be.”

First Nia’s face was blank then the gratitude came dripping in.

She laughed, “And anyway doctors are full of shit. I mean how often do you see one and they’re correct?”

“Never, last week I thought I had gout my doctor says I don’t but Web MD never lies to so…”

Nia laughed really hard which made Stella glad that their nine year friendship had been humorous, even when it was tragic. She told more jokes and because she did Nia relaxed and complained about how different everyone was treating her except Stella, and how she was thankful for that. Her parents wanted her to never leave the house, her girlfriend was kind (but nervous), and her best friend was making the situation about herself complaining that she was “too emotional” to deal with right now. When Nia said this part though, she quickly looked at Stella and said, “I always considered you family.” To which Stella said, “Because I am stupid, go on vent on.”

At the end of their time together Nia got uncharacteristically somber.

“Stella…just, just don’t forget that I’m alive right now okay?”

After they parted ways Stella locked herself in her room and at first there were just little tears sprinkling as she folded clothes. They became heavier as she made her bed, till suddenly she found herself clutching herself and wailing because…because well…why Nia? Why was it always Nia getting the short end of the stick? It was Nia who got so sick in high school she had to miss half the year. It was Nia whose friends turned their back on her in her tough years. It was Nia who unflinchingly forgave them and accepted that they only valued her when she could do something for them. Nia, who instead of being petty like Stella would have chose, decided that she would simply no longer let them into her private life. Overall the reason Stella was crying was because Nia is 23 and a good person who she wanted to be there for. But she couldn’t be there for someone she felt sorry for because feeling sorry for and being there mean two different things. So she was crying right now to get rid of all the guilt and anger she felt because she is healthy and Nia is not, because Nia is going to die and she is not.

She cried until she got a headache then she fell asleep. When she awoke it was to her phone ringing somewhere on the bed. With eyes closed she answered it.

“Hello?”

A brief pause.

“You’re crying?” Jack asks as he locks himself into a bathroom. Silence. “You were crying?”

“Yea,”

“Why?”

“Nia is dying.”

“Damn…it was that bad huh?”

“Jack how come everything I…” Stella cleared her throat. “So what time is it anyway?”

“About nine, feels like eleven though. Do you want to hang around?”

“Aren’t you busy or something?”

Jack listened to a group of people laughing on the other side of the bathroom. The main speaker repeated himself so the group laughed again and someone cackled. It all made Jack disgusted.

“I’m just at this party with a bunch of writers and I mean who really needs that? I don’t need them to like me I got you: my unpublished unfamous friend.”

“You kiss your mother with that mouth?”

“Come on let’s hang around, what else can you be doing? Unless you feel like crying some more? I certainly don’t want to be bored any longer.”

“What about Sophie, don’t you two like each other now or something?”

“Oh sure, but I’m going to wait till the fourth to kiss her. It’ll be more exciting that way-and anyway I don’t want to see Sophie I want to see you, so have a heart for once in your life.”

“Alright come over but I refuse to leave.”

Well of course Jack did come over, aside from Felicity who he had at one time truly loved, and Stella Charlotte whom he was devoted to, every other writer he hated. The thought instantly made him hear a voice say, “hate is such a strong word, you hate something?” Fine, other writers made him sick. The thing was this: Lazy writing was in. He knew this because he made a fortune on it, but it wasn’t last writing like Hemingway’s “And then and then and then”, or Faulkner’s “And so and so and so”. No, Jack believed writing had gotten too modern because there was no longer need for subtlety. If a character is being a cunt the writer is allowed to say that character is a cunt then drop a million swears behind it. Too easy, kid stuff really-the type of writing that is never written for the self. That’s why he was going to die rich and famous and Felicity and Stella Charlotte, when she caught the right eye, were going to die legends. Their writing was always for them and others were given permission to look over it if they got curious. Jack was really envious of that.

When he came into Stella’s dwelling place she had her head in a bucket and was vomiting and naked. Her teeth were dangerously close to shattering they were chattering so hard while she was in a cold sweat. What should also be mentioned is that Jack found her on the toilet; she was also having a poo. Jack leaned on the sink even though Stella tried to push him away, vomited, maybe whimpered, vomited, and then looked up at him. Jack shook his head.

“Feeling anxious again?”

“It’s…it’s not fair to be this connected to humanity. I wish I had your lack of empathy.”

“No you don’t, it makes the cruelness shifty. Maybe you should have some therapy? The doctors said your stomach is already sensitive; on top of that it’s directly linked to all your anxiety, which is tremendous by the way. And you’re already such a reserved thing-you let nothing in because you’re both equally afraid of being harmed by that close thing and letting your true self be known. The world makes you nervous, but try to remember the only thing worth controlling is yourself.”

After the vomit and a shower Stella felt sick yet tremendously better. She found Jack on the couch picking his way through a bag of popcorn. She sat beside him and turned on the TV.

“Yo,” she says.

“Want some?” he tilts the bag.

“Sure,” Stella’s hand retreats at the last second, “Actually I rather not.”

“You did just vomit.”

“Did I?”

“Do you want to watch AOT?”

“I hate that you call it that.”

“Stella literally everyone calls it that.”

Jack connects his phone to Stella’s TV. Stella yawns and gets comfy.

If you liked this installment please check out its older siblings Parts 1–3. Also try to have a nice day, I’m sure in some way or another you deserve it.

Other Voices

A sanctuary for orphaned poems and prose.

Ashlei Cox

Written by

There’s you, me, and us; and we’ve all got instagram.

Other Voices

A sanctuary for orphaned poems and prose.