How To Be Happy In Hell
Normal is a wasting disease…
It’s time to stop being a model of disorder,
to take up lobotomized cultural obligations.
I will produce a blockbuster movie spectacular
retelling the tragedy of Joan of Arc starring
Lindsay Lohan or a convenient Kardashian.
or write a play about murderous Mormon missionaries
driven to homicide by homos and colored shirts.
who secretly drink cola and think impure thoughts,
or a novel celebrating the pure souls of corporate drones,
or a reality TV show called: When Thinking Goes Wrong.
I’ll stop trying to marry white roses and black toads
and give up delusions of concupiscent cassowaries.
Maybe then I’ll be able to afford a dog,
eat on a regular basis, and own a trustworthy vehicle.
I’ll be prematurely dead, but comfortable,
the ultimate virtue of the here and now.
I’ll achieve that fatuous fifteen minutes of fame.
Produce my fleeting particle of the American Dream.
People will call me a great success, then forget me forever.
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