If You Could Just Love Me Back…

Like a blast from the past,
It’s amazing how I can still recall,
Of how I fell for you years ago,
So hard I get a migraine,
Whenever I think of the conversations we had,
Was it your name, 
Which sounded musical, melodious nonetheless arousing,
Was it your​ smile on the photos,
Which curved on your face,
Like a crescent moon in darkness,
And shined though my phone’s screen,
Evicting sadnesses rented in my heart,
Was it your breathtaking eyes,
Which stared through to my soul,
Like those ones of an angry king,
And stirred up a feeling so indelible to ignore,
So orgasmic to the core...

Let me tell you-
I kept wondering if heaven had cabs like we do,
As an angel​ must have dropped you,
And I could just abduct you,
To groove with you,
And dance with you,
I remember then-
I could only sleep by taking pills,
Thinking of your luscious lips,
You in my head and not my bed... Nostalgia…

You see-
My dearest,
I have streapdanced to the desolace of the past lonely years,
Making out with hope and despair,
Trying to find bliss and adornment in solitude,
At times am about to call you on my phone, darling,
But then my muscles start twitching,
With the feeling of inadequacy,
Compared to your beauty,
Compared to your elegency,
Compared to your awesomeness,
And end up with my thumbs on the screen typing "I miss you", just aching of love,
And sometimes my mind whisper desperately to my heart,
That I should leave you,
But my heart thinks otherwise,
Sending shudders through my flesh,
As it recalled the bitterness of rejection and subsequent embarrassment,
And now my tongue is betraying me, of how I want you...

Let me remind you-
Of the nights we had then,
Embraced in graciousness of the silent stars,
Leaving fingerprints of love and desire on you,
Against the beating of your racing heart,
Feeling the wholesomeness​ of your lips against mine,
Hungry obsessions of the forbidden fruit biting through my spine,
Wondering if you felt the same,
But then you broke away from my embrace,
Left this heart crippled, hollow and ice cold,
A colossal lump so sour felt in my throat,
Like a goblet of hemlock juice...
Left me wounded underneath the smile,
As the craving and primal need to be loved that you had sowed, really itched to grow...

Listen-
If you ever feel am reaching out,
If you ever feel me achingly connecting out,
To take a shelter in you,
To explode in you,
Do not blow me off,
For my emotions will crumble and crash,
Like​ a house made of cards.

Just write this in your heart,
Or better yet curve it,
For I want generations coming to know​,
Where my heart was before it was shuttered,
Into pieces I could only tell,
Now before anyone else puts them back together, my dearest,
Before someone takes you away...

“You had my heart, Before I could say No.”

Fix me now. Don't ask me how.

Emanuel 💏✍