Medium is Like…

Medium is like the really good looking woman you meet at a bar who gives you her number, doesn’t text you back but friend requests you on Facebook. I’ve got enough friends. I thought we hit it off and this was going somewhere. Or I’d at least get a text back. I wasn’t even going to ask for nudes, right away.

Medium is like your old buddy from college who you slowly feel yourself growing apart from. You pretend not to see it but it’s clear as day. You just have different interests. One of you is about to get married, the other still day drinks regularly and sends people washed up memes via text message.

Medium is like the kid you only pretend to like so you can cheat off him in trigonometry. The friend you only hung out with because they had a car, or nobody else was around. The one you always catch staring at your fiance’s ass when she’s wearing the leggings you’ve repeatedly told her are see through.

Medium is like the kid you went to high school with, who was cool and all but you can’t help but cross the street when you see ten years later, in hopes they didn’t see you. It’s nothing personal, you just hate stop and chats. They’re always so awkward and what’s really to say? “Class of 05', CrazyRightBro?”

Medium is like the marriage you know you should end but don’t because although you may no longer be in love with them, you do love them. Besides, where would you even go? It may not be a fairy tale but it’s familiar. You’ve grown comfortable there. And besides, there’s the children to think about.

Medium is like the school dance you didn’t want to go to but did anyway because everyone else was . It was over chaperoned and they played The Macarena but you managed to get to 2nd base behind the gym bleachers. It’s like the teacher you swore had a crush on you but ended up failing you.