Let’s get (meta)physical (about gender).

I need to get meta with you. I don’t identify as any gender. Also, I’m cheesy. I’m innocent. Internet commenters repeatedly point out that I “act like a girl.” And here’s the thing: I love that comparison. Innocent is not an insult. Innocence and intelligence are not exclusive opposing states. Innocent is the most intelligent approach to life. “I don’t know” are wise words.

“I don’t know” is a great approach to gender. A friend and I were walking down University Place in NYC yesterday and another person of undetermined gender passed in front of us. This third person was hecka stylish: all in skin tight black with gold heeled boots to beat the gods, all topped with a big floppy hat tilted just so to hug their long black curly hair. I was jealous. They were beautiful.

“Does that person identify as a man?” my friend said, trying to figure out the situation. “They don’t have to identify as anything do they?” I said, with a bit of sass in my voice.

“C’mon. You know what I mean” my friend said. “Were they born a man?”

I paused, I just wanted to let that question echo a bit before responding. I wanted to stay innocent about it, not assuming I knew what my friend really wanted to know. There was a lot I felt like saying: why do we need to know the “true” gender of strangers? Why do we want people (babies!) to put themselves into categories we feel comfortable with — that we understand? I stayed silent and that ended up being the best choice. After a long pause, my friend said “I can’t even say that anymore, can I?” referring to phrases like “born a man.”

“Nope.” I said. “Isn’t gender fun?”