I Don’t Feel Brave
Instead of telling me I am brave, speak up for equal rights for all
When you tell someone they are brave or are your hero, you put a burden on them that is often heavy to carry.
Why do people tell me I am brave? It actually hurts sometimes because I don’t feel brave. I never saw combat when I was in the Navy. In fact, I volunteered for the Naval Reserve so that I would have a better chance of avoiding going to Vietnam. At times I have felt guilty about never being in combat when I know so many who have been through hell and back.
I am told I am brave or courageous for coming out as trans. I have been thinking about this one for a year since I first heard it. One reason I didn’t come out sooner was because I was extremely afraid about what might happen to me, perhaps even a bit cowardly about coming out. If I was brave, I would have come out earlier.
My biggest fear is being without a “significant other” in my life ever again. I need someone that will be with me all night long to cuddle with and be close to. I need someone to share a bottle of wine with and we are already home together. I need someone to help me do chores around our home. At this point I am not sure if this will ever happen.
