What Is A Deadname?
Talking respectfully with and about trans people
Recently, I went through some old clothes that I didn’t want to wear anymore. They belonged to someone else, somebody I never truly was but pretended to be for about 16 years. I could have left them where they are but they take up space, space I can now use for clothes that suit me better, and that I actually feel comfortable in.
With the decision to finally live as Mick I left certain things behind. And I think there is no better word that ‘deadname’ to accurately describe something from the past that, ideally, you’d never want mentioned again. Every time somebody deadnames me, it hurts me. Not only emotionally, but physically as well. My heart races, I sweat, and I feel super uncomfortable.
There are trans people who have a relaxed relationship with their old name. But I (and most people) don’t.
‘Deadname’ is the discarded name of a trans person — deadnaming means calling a trans person by their old name. Misgendering would be using the wrong pronouns or the wrong gender term. That can happen as an accident at the beginning of a person’s transition with friends, family, or colleagues. But some people use it as a demonstration of power, especially, on social media. Some people intentionally deadname or misgender trans people on social media to call…
