BISEXUAL Q&A

Just thought I’d write out answers to some of the questions I get, create a dialogue, and end it with drinks.

Do you think you’ll ever go back to dating men?
For me it’s not a “go back to” thing, it’s more of a “still depends on the person” thing.

Was it hard switching to this new lifestyle after being with a guy for so long?
Not all because who I’m dating/sleeping with/hanging out with is not a lifestyle. But yes, ending a relationship or starting a new one always has its challenges.

Which do you like better, to date, men or women?Depends on the person. But which do you like better, in bed, men or women Depends on the person. But what do you prefer, in percentage? Right now I’m dating a woman. So you’re 100% for women now, you’re gay?
Nope, still bi.

So sexual orientation is a choice? Because clearly you keep choosing one gender or the other.
I’m choosing a person— not a gender— based on my sexual orientation. So, no.

I’ve often thought about experimenting like you’re doing, too.
I think it’s great you want to experiment, but I don’t think it’s cool for you to label the parts of my falling in love/dating/sex life that you might see as outside normalcy as an experiment. Maybe that’s not your intention, but be careful with the words you choose to describe someone else’s experiences.

It’s so cool you’re bi because you get to have sex with anybody and everybody!
Being bi doesn’t equal more sex, more partners. Just like being straight doesn’t equal less sex, monogamy. Let’s stop making assumptions about someone’s sex life based on their sexual orientation.

It’s so cool that you can be out and about and nobody would even suspect you have a girlfriend because you don’t look super butch.
It’s not cool that you think it’s cool that people perceive me as straight. What would be cool is if people stopped categorizing and passing judgment based on visual cues and stereotypes, and realized that we all look like— and are— so many different things.

I don’t mean to be offensive. I’m really just trying to understand how you can like both genders and not just pick one.
Asking questions and engaging in dialogue is a great way to evolve perceptions, so it’s all good. I’m glad we’re talking. I get the feeling you want to understand something that maybe you’re not sure really exists?

Yes, exactly. I think bisexuals are confused or in transition, so it’s hard for me to believe that bisexuals really even exist.
The Truth is Out There. (I whisper this, and then fade away.) (Or, I just answer the question.) If someone tells you how they identify, you should believe them and respect it.

Part of me thinks you’re just confused.
I think you’re confused too. Do you want to get a coffee/tea/whiskey and continue talking?

Yes.
Great.

Update:

for an intro to this post and more on how I identify: http://mindyraf.tumblr.com/post/88692755242/bisexual-q-a