damn gametes

it’s fortunate, no doubt
for medicine to be so synonymous
with treating a condition

it’s privilege, truly
to take matters into your own hands
and force an institution to
support all your endeavors

but what happens when that well runs dry,
or caution stays your steady hand
or you decide that maybe a life which does not exist
is worth the smallest interruption to your own?

maybe then you look around
at the leagues of those much stronger than you
and you wonder if perhaps it’s not your fate
to learn to be strong like them, too
whose daily forays are without the luxury
of coal to shovel into their engines

dig deep
there’s a reason you started this, you know
some believe they’re becoming
and some others know they already are
and you thought you knew in which camp you laid your head
but did you know that sometimes things are not very simple?

so, how do you go without moving?
or, how do you redefine what movement even means?
you’ll get there, assuredly,
and someday all of you will be in rocking chairs
with tapestries to tell

but for now the molten core of self
must learn how to raise its whisper to a roar
so you can look into a pool
and see yourself staring back
not later
not someday
but now

what parts of you
i ask
scream out
in pink and blue
and purple and orange
and gray and red

what parts hold flags
that rely not on promises
or the quietness of knowing
but have a banner which is ready to be held aloft
loudly and without fear?

because if you’re there,
please show yourself

i need you