Why are Men “Afraid” of Commitment?

John Davis
Mar 1, 2019 · 3 min read

“The cuckoo then, on every tree,
Mocks married men; for thus sings he,
‘Cuckoo’; (14–16)” — Shakespeare


When the media “reports” that men are “afraid” of commitment, it’s a continuation of a 50 year trend to mock and disparage men for their reproductive choices.

Men aren’t “afraid” of commitment. When men walk away from “commitment” and marriage, they are making intelligent choices. Fear doesn’t enter into men’s minds when they walk away from women in our “modern” culture.

There was once a time when marriage was an honorable institution. It was not that long ago.

As mankind rose from primitive savagery, to civilizing the world, men were able to bring art, beauty, truth and goodness to the human condition. Marriage was vital to the stability that permitted these advances in humanity.

Marriage was a balanced set of cultural traditions and values in which men and women supported each other, assumed gendered roles that encouraged them to support each other, and, provided a means for men and women to enhance their lives through the synergy of mutual care, respect, responsibility and knowledge for and about each other.

Those days are long gone.

Marriage is no longer an honorable institution. It is simply a device of the neo-Marxist state to exploit men.

Do you think that is an exaggeration?

Let’s ask some straight questions.

What benefits does marriage offer a man?

The answer is that marriage offers nothing to men. At one time, men could enjoy trusting a woman with his love and sexual feelings. Current government regulation, however, has, virtually demonized and criminalized every aspect of men’s feelings and sexuality in, and outside of marriage.

At one time, Men could count on marriages lasting a lifetime. This gave him, his wife and his children stability and the incentive to work together, as a family, for long term benefits and gains.

Now, women file 80% of divorces, within about 8 years of marriage, use the biased and oppressive family courts to strip a man of his children, his life savings, and leave him to twist in the wind without a support network of any kind. Our laws and family court judges are designed to encourage women to get a divorce, alienate the children from their Father’s protection, and, exploit men for the convenience and enrichment of the neo-marxist state . . .

Men are dying from suicide at six times the rate of women in some age categories. We know that one of the reasons is the man-hating (misandry) that saturates our institutions (law, education, military, religion, etc.), and, that the other is that a man loses everything in most marriages. To meet draconian government regulation of marriage, a man must abandon his personal support network of friends, and, when he is divorced, and impressed into the service of the state to pay child support, he no longer has the time or energy to form personal support networks of friends.

Men walk away from marriage and commitment with women out of intellect and common sense choice. “Fear” has nothing to do with it.


Gender Studies for Men

Balanced discussions of contemporary gender issues

John Davis

Written by

John Davis (1953 — ) is a retired public official and international lawyer and writes on current gender issues.

Gender Studies for Men

Balanced discussions of contemporary gender issues

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