Can Love Really Save Us?
After last year’s unfortunate election results and this years depressing inauguration, the slogan “Love Trumps Hate” began to make its way across marches, protests, t-shirts, bumper stickers, and anything else you could possibly think of. But is it possible to win against an oppressive, toxic, and violent regime by using love? In my opinion? Maybe, but only if we utilize it in the right way.
Multiple events throughout the presidential campaign left many people from marginalized groups feeling rightfully hurt and angry. While many saw their anger as valid, others saw it negative. Some even went as far as invalidating their emotions by labeling them to be as hateful as the oppressive institutions that had hurt them and suggesting that their trauma was hindering activist work. But in my opinion, the wellbeing of entire groups of marginalized folks matter a lot more than a couple of smashed windows and a burnt limo. I do not agree with dismissing the emotions and trauma of marginalized folks in order to give activism a good name or for the sake of ‘spreading love’. While I do agree that we should include more love in our activist spaces, I want to make sure that we do it in a way that does not turn a blind eye to the hurt inflicted onto millions of people by oppressive institutions.
bell hooks writes that in order to transform our activism into something effective that works to dismantle the oppression of all, we need to work with what she calls a “love ethic”. In order to build our activism on this ethic, she asks that we “expand our concern about politics and domination and our capacity to care about the oppression and exploitation of others”, meaning that in order to move forward, we need to ensure that we’re concerned with the wellbeing of our fellow humans. To me, this includes acknowledging the hurt and trauma built up from hundreds of years of colonialism, slavery, and other forms of violent oppression and not ignoring these valid feelings for the sake of a forced ‘love’ attitude. hooks talks about “confront[ing] the legacy of this unreconciled grief” with love in order to begin and progress the long process of healing.
That means as allies acknowledging the pain that marginalized groups are feeling and validating their experiences, not speaking over them with your own. It’s building a community based in love and understanding and building relationships within the movement that are universally beneficial. Once we start ignoring the concerns or feelings of a group for the sake of saving face against the oppressive regimes, we’ve failed. We need to love one another and uplift in substantial ways that allow us to progress and unite instead of dividing and ultimately upholding the pillars of our oppression. hooks states that “to choose love is to go against the prevailing values of the culture” and since our culture is heavily influenced by white supremacy and the various institutions under it, it would be in our best interest to unite in the name of love, but an effective love that heals and isn’t merely performative.
