Free from the Binds of My Own Mind

Instead of Ruminating & Brooding with Anger, Love Freed and Motivated Me to Change

“I share the belief and the conviction that it is in choosing love, and beginning with love as the ethical foundation for politics….that we are best positioned to transform society in ways that enhance the collective good”. — bell hooks

No, this isn’t a piece about true love. This is a story of how choosing to love people, the greater good, and myself, freed me from the binds of my own mind whilst providing a reason to be the change I wish to see in the world.

Life is always filled with surprises — some favorable and unfavorable. But like most people, in times of mental/physical agony, we tend to stray away from what makes us happy. For me, the scathing ways of our current political climate and presidential election results left me in a dark place; a place where feelings of scorn, contempt, and disdain hovered like a perpetual dark cloud. Some time post-inauguration, stirring in all these negative emotions led me to become numb. I didn’t care about anything and I lost my sense of value. How could one single person who was once irrelevant in my life, become so relevant and collectively make millions of people feel the same pain? It’s still a mystery to me.

I realized that not only was I distressed, but the people I cared about were becoming victims of my self-destruction. People whom I never wish harm, got hurt in the process and it was until then that I realized that the love I have to give, was far superior than the brooding anger and hatred that consumed me. For that, I needed to change my perspective. Doing so was not for the satisfaction of the perpetrator, but for the purpose of bringing peace to myself and utilizing the privilege I have to fabricate a safe space for others.

Being a stubborn person, I have never been comfortable talking about my political views and feelings even though it certainly showed on my sleeve. It was only until recently that I began to share my thoughts and participate in political demonstrations. I figured that becoming involved is the first step in stimulating change. So, I began to accept the events as they are, acknowledged that my feelings are valid, and addressed them head-on. Although addressing them seemed to be more painful than remaining silent, it has and will continue to benefit me and others in the long run.

“Love as the Practice of Freedom” by bell hooks states,

“The moment we choose to love we begin to move against domination, against oppression. The moment we choose to love we begin to move towards freedom, to act in ways that liberate ourselves and others. This action is the testimony of love as the practice of freedom.”

Choosing to love is not only an act to serve yourself, but is an act to generate change in order help others. I can only hope that the work that has been done by people worldwide is used for personal and political recovery.

Poet, memoirist, and civil rights activist, Dr. Maya Angelou was featured in a video titled “Love Liberates”. In this video, Dr. Angelou opens up about her mother’s final days and acknowledges the liberatory power of love.

“I am grateful to have been loved and to be loved now and to be able to love, because that liberates. Love liberates. It doesn’t just hold — that’s ego. Love liberates. It doesn’t bind…She freed me, to say I may have something in me that would be of value. Maybe not just to me, but others. That’s love.”
— Dr. Maya Angelou

In a TED talk by Zak Ebrahim, he valiantly revealed that he is the son of a convicted American terrorist. Growing up, Ebrahim was taught to hate and judge people based on arbitrary measures (i.e. race and religion). Though it wouldn’t be surprising if Ebrahim became subjected to the same path as his father, he took another route — to love. In a robust and bold move, Ebrahim had the courage to express his ideology on becoming a loving person:

“And I realized, over time, that this empathy was more powerful than bigotry or hatred. It was this realization that helped me break a cycle of violence…Empathy, peace, nonviolence-they may seem like quaint tools in the world that my father helped create. But, as many have written, using nonviolence to resolve conflicts doesn’t mean being passive. It doesn’t mean embracing victimhood, or letting aggressors run riot. It doesn’t even mean giving up the fight, not exactly. What it means is humanizing your opponents, recognizing the needs and fears you share with them, working toward reconciliation rather than revenge.”

I’m an imperfect person. There are days where I lose site of my motives. Like with many others, it’s a learning process that consists of nurturing and time. Acknowledging pain and finding a will to trek on, is reason to utilize love as liberatory power.

If you are passionate, let it be fueled by love.
If you seek change, let it be motivated by the love you have for others.
And in the process of doing so, always remember to love yourself.