If He Hits You, He Likes You!
“It’s okay! If he hits it probably meant that he likes you!” This is the response a little girl at an elementary school got from her nurse after she was sent to the nurses office after she was roughly pushed on the playground by a young boy while playing. I unfortunately cannot find the tweet that brought this issue to my attention but to be quite honest is it needed? Who has not heard that same sentiment from various sources such as friends, adults, educators, etc? I vividly remember hearing the same thing when I was in elementary school and actually BELIEVING that that was the truth. At such a young age the idea of violence is already being romanticized through the way it is being linked to attraction and love.
There was even an 18 year old who was on the Dr. Phil show defending acts of abuse from significant others by claiming that it shows “an act of love” and that “they are risking you pressing charges to hit you” so they genuinely care about you.
DUDE WTF. This is a concrete example of how convoluted and warped the idea of love has become in association with violence and the way it has affected a generation growing up. My jaw was dropped from the second the video started until its end.
The sense of power and domination that men have already managed to acquire is heightened and strengthened now when positive emotions are attached to negative actions. Pain is not a pleasant sensation, so why is it being taught to young girls that the pain they are feeling that was most likely inflicted by another youth is a positive sign of endearment is grossly incorrect. This also reinforces the idea to male youth that violence is an appropriate way to express their emotional state.
There are also many ways that violence can be experienced in ones lifetime. Not only physically but also emotionally and mentally. All ways are just as damaging and permanent for all those involved.
In his article “Why is #MasculinitySoFragile”, Dexter Thomas stated, “violence against women is a result of the fragility of masculinity.” The need to exert control usually though violence truly highlights how uncertain and unsteady the ideal masculinity is. The threat of being seen as lesser in comparison to others is a strong driving force in the actions that many take that can lead to things such as abuse and mistreatment of fellow human beings. Dexter noted an instance in his article where the creator of the hashtag #masculinitysofragile woke up to death threats and then stated, “when you challenge masculinity, it hits a nerve.” When I read that all I could think of was why the hell it mattered so much and how unfortunate it is that so much weight has been placed basically just an IDEA that it would drive people to act in such a away. Then I remembered almost every violent act in history started through an idea and it kind of makes more sense.
I do not like violence. I detest the sight of blood and the presence of pain be it in me or another person is something I usually cannot bear to witness. It’s crazy to me that it is obvious that the trend starts very young. The presence presence and glorification of violence needs to be completely removed from the equation involving any positive idea. Telling an impressionable young girl that a boy who hits her on the playground “likes her” is potentially setting her up for a future filled with violence and opportunities for manipulation. There are other ways to express emotion and violence is definitely NOT one of them.
