Man Up
As I came into an appropriate age to start working my dad told me that I didn’t have to because as the man of the house he was able to provide. As I kept getting older and my wants became more expensive I started again in my job search. I asked my dad if I could help him around his job. He owns his own company where he installs walk-in coolers for flower and meat markets in Downtown Los Angeles. I was willing to do all the physical labor necessary for the job, instead he put me to do some of the secretarial duties of the business. At first I thought it was because he didn’t really need my help. That same year my brother needed a job so he went to my dad and he was put to do the physical labor. I questioned my dad as to why I couldn’t join him on the field and he simply responded by saying that it wasn’t a place for a woman.
So, what makes a job so manly that a woman isn’t allowed to participate in it? To be manly according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the definition of manly is (1) having qualities generally associated with a man : strong and virile and (2) appropriate in character to a man. Men have constantly been given a format of the way that they should be, act, respond, and question things. According to Katelyn Esmonde, “ Ideal masculinity is certainly not feminine, nor is it poor or black.” It’s not a simple solution to just be classified under the gender of male but in order to be the perfect personification of a man there are many other characteristics that they must fall under. Esmond quoting and elaborating on Raewyn Connell, says that to be classified as a hegemonic male is that it “claims and sustains a leading position in social life” (p. 77), above less valued forms of masculinity, such as those of the subordinate group, the complicit group, and the marginalized group, in which poor black men are typically located.” In order to be considered masculine, men have to hold to this expectation to not only be a male, but not to be black, and to be in power over all others. What then is it to be the epitome of masculinity?
Masculinity isn’t as simple as it seems. As explained above the expectation of being a man includes many other things rather than just having the physical characteristics of a male. If there is so many other things that make a man, does that mean by not having one of there characteristics makes you less of a man? In Hip Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes some of the rappers that were interviewed were stating how many of them were in a concert and were enjoying the music that they all had liked but still had to act as if they were tough with smirks on their face. With one another they have to act tough and have this macho-man personality, in a way being homoerotic. In this case then, it’s not about being masculine for a woman but portraying masculinity for other men. Portraying masculinity as having not only dominance over other men but to impress them as much as you possibly can.
Why do men have to prove themselves to one another then? Why does one have to have all these qualities in order to be seen as manly? If one is missing, why does that make anyone less than a man? Who is the true epitome of manhood then? Why is #MasculinitySoFragile?
Dexter Thomas in Why is #MasculinitySoFragile writes about how we live in a society that determines where silly things like Q-tips and deodorant need to have a gender because it makes those who believe that they are masculine uncomfortable. Since when does a q-tip determine whether or not you are a man? Is masculinity really that fragile where what you use to clean your earwax with is a determining factor of whether you really are a man or not?
