Men, stop obssesing over my body and my womb.
My body. My pregnancy. My womb. My choice.
During the early months of my pregnancy I was ashamed and embarrassed because I was nineteen years old and mostly everybody in my family hated my boyfriend. But over time, I had to force myself to be happy as a I was going to be blessed with one of the most precious things on earth. I took advantage of eating for two as I ate everything and anything I wanted at any time of the day, I took advantage of sleeping all day long, and I took advantage of my boyfriend spoiling me with massages. But as my stomach was growing more and more, more people were judging me and telling me how to take care of myself. Especially my boyfriend’s stepdad.
My boyfriend’s stepdad was constantly criticizing me from what I ate to how I dressed to the activities I should be doing. His stepdad was trying to mold my unborn daughter into the person she should grow up to be. I was told not to eat fast food because my daughter would be obese, I was told not to wear shorts because it was sexually inappropriate, and he encouraged me to take science based courses so she can be intelligent. I do not even think my daughter, who is now a year and a half, has a clue what I ate or what I wore when I was pregnant. I do not even think my daughter fully remembers what she did yesterday.
When my daughter was almost one month old, my boyfriend’s stepdad had a serious talk with my dad and me on Thanksgiving Day. His stepdad told my dad that he needs to keep a closer eye on me and make sure I take my birth control pill every single day. His stepdad said, “I do not want anymore children.” I was furious and I was embarrassed that he put my dad in an awkward situation. How dare he tell me how to take care of my own body.
My boyfriend’s stepdad was trying to control my body, my unborn daughter, and our life. Gayatri Spivak would accuse my boyfriend’s stepdad of womb envy. A woman’s womb is seen as a site of production. Women take pride in being able to do reproduce, the one thing men are so envious of. Reproduction benefits men because it means more people that enter the workforce and more people that will work for demanding men. Men are obsessed with being superior over others and their decisions. However, since men are unable to reproduce without a womb it leads men to being envious of a woman’s womb. Men would benefit from a womb because then men will be able to mold their fetus so early and mold the child into a perfect working member of society.
“Wandering through the world “minding one’s own business” is a virtual impossibility for pregnant women.” says Phoebe Bronstein.
Men cannot control their potty mouths and they always feel it is necessary to give their opinions/judgement to pregnant women and women in general. Pregnant women are exhausted and have enough on their mind and the last thing they need is a man telling her how to take care of herself and her pregnant body. A woman’s pregnancy is considered a public space as Spivak mentions. Men aggressively demand control over women’s bodies. A woman knows her body more than anyone else and only she knows how to comfort herself and what her body needs. For example, a pregnant women will know whether her fetus likes or dislikes something she ate by the reaction/movement of the baby.
Morgan Meneses-Sheets believes that instead of men forcing a women on what to do with her body or life, men should provide more support and safety for the child. Such as providing full health coverage and improving healthcare for women. Meneses-Sheets does not believe pregnancy should be a political. Men and women cannot have control over anyone else body except their own.
I do not appreciate unwanted advice on how to take care of my own child. If I wanted help on how to raise my child, then I would simply ask. I do not want my pregnancy to be controlled, I do not want my body under so much pressure, and I do not want to be told how to raise my child into be a perfect successful worker. People, men specifically, need to worry about themselves and mind for their business for the sake of everyone.
